Transcript[]
- Justin: What do you do with a B.A. in English?
- Justin: What is my life going to be?
- Justin: Four years of college and plenty of knowledge
- Justin: Have earned me this useless degree
- Justin: I can't pay the bills yet 'cause I have no skills yet
- Justin: The world is a big scary place
- Justin: But somehow I can't shake the feeling I might make
- Justin: A difference to the human race
- Pearl Pureheart: Morning, Orinoco
- Orinoco: Hi, Pearl Pureheart
- Pearl Pureheart: How's life?
- Orinoco: Disappointing
- Pearl Pureheart: What's the matter?
- Orinoco: The catering company laid me off
- Pearl Pureheart: Oh, I'm sorry!
- Orinoco: Me too! I mean, look at me!
- Orinoco: I'm ten years out of college
- Orinoco: And I always thought, oh
- Pearl Pureheart: What?
- Orinoco: No, it sounds stupid
- Pearl Pureheart: Aww, come on!
- Orinoco: When I was little I thought I would be
- Pearl Pureheart: What?
- Orinoco: A big comedian on late night TV
- Orinoco: But now I'm thirty-two and as you can see I'm not
- Pearl Pureheart: Nope!
- Orinoco: Oh well, it sucks to be me
- Pearl Pureheart: No
- Orinoco: It sucks to be me
- Pearl Pureheart: No
- Orinoco: It sucks to be broke and unemployed
- Orinoco: And turning thirty-three, it sucks to be me
- Pearl Pureheart: You think your life sucks?
- Orinoco: I think so
- Pearl Pureheart: Your problems aren't so bad!
- Pearl Pureheart: I'm kinda pretty and pretty damn smart
- Orinoco: You are!
- Pearl Pureheart: Thanks! I like romantic things like music and art
- Pearl Pureheart: And as you know I have a gigantic heart
- Pearl Pureheart: So why don't I have a boyfriend?
- Pearl Pureheart: Fuck! It sucks to be me
- Orinoco: Me too
- Pearl Pureheart: It sucks to be me
- Orinoco: It sucks to be me, it sucks to be Orinoco
- Pearl Pureheart: And Pearl
- Orinoco: To not have a job!
- Pearl Pureheart: To not have a date!
- Both: It sucks to be me
- Orinoco: Hey, Chip, Dale, can you settle something for us?
- Orinoco: Do you have a second?
- Chip: Ah, certainly
- Pearl Pureheart: Whose life sucks more? Orinoco's or mine?
- Both: Ours!
- Chip: We live together
- Dale: We're as close as people can get
- Chip: We've been the best of buddies
- Dale: Ever since the day we met
- Chip: So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset
- Chip: Oh every day is an aggravation
- Dale: Come on, that's an exaggeration!
- Chip: You leave your clothes out
- Chip: You put your feet on my chair
- Dale: Oh yeah?
- Dale: You do such anal things like ironing your underwear
- Chip: You make that very small apartment we share a hell
- Dale: So do you, that's why I'm in hell too!
- Chip: It sucks to be me!
- Dale: No, it sucks to be me!
- Pearl Pureheart: It sucks to be me!
- Orinoco: It sucks to be me!
- All: Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be?
- All: It sucks to be me!
- Nellie the Elephant: Why you all so happy?
- Dale: Because our lives suck!
- Nellie the Elephant: Your lives suck? I hearing you correctly?
- Nellie the Elephant: Ha! I coming to this country for opportunities
- Nellie the Elephant: Tried to work in Korean deli but I am Japanese
- Nellie the Elephant: But with hard work I earn two master's degrees in social work!
- Nellie the Elephant: And now I a therapist! But I have no clients!
- Nellie the Elephant: And I have an unemployed fiance!
- Nellie the Elephant: And we have lots of bills to pay!
- Nellie the Elephant: It suck to be me! It suck to be me!
- Nellie the Elephant: I say it sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka
- Nellie the Elephant: Sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-suck!
- Nellie the Elephant: It suck to be me
- Justin: Excuse me?
- Justin: Hey there
- Justin: Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a place to live
- Nellie the Elephant: Why you looking the way out here?
- Justin: Well, I started at Avenue A
- Justin: But so far everything is out of my price range
- Justin: But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper!
- Justin: Oh, and look a For Rent sign!
- Orinoco: You need to talk to the superintendent
- Orinoco: Let me go him
- Justin: Great, thanks!
- Orinoco: Yo, Bonkers!
- Bonkers D. Bobcat: I'm comin' I'm comin'
- Justin: Oh my God! It's Bonkers D. Bobcat!
- Bonkers: Yes I am! I'm Bonkers D. Bobcat, from TV's diff'rent Strokes
- Bonkers: I made a lotta money that got stolen by my folks!
- Bonkers: Now I'm broke and I'm the butt of everyone's jokes
- Bonkers: But I'm here the superintendent! On Avenue Q
- Chorus: It sucks to be you
- Pearl Pureheart: You win!
- Chorus: It sucks to be you
- Orinoco: I feel better now!
- Bonkers: Try having people stopping you to ask you
- Bonkers: What you talkin' 'bout, Willis? It gets old
- Chorus:It sucks to be you on Avenue Q
- (Sucks to be me)
- Chorus:On Avenue Q
- (Sucks to be you)
- Chorus:On Avenue Q
- (Sucks to be us)
- Chorus: But not when we're together
- Chorus: We're together here on Avenue Q!
- Chorus: We live on Avenue Q! Our friends do too!
- Chorus: 'Til our dreams come true
- Chorus: We live on Avenue Q!
- Justin: This is real life!
- Chorus: We live on Avenue Q
- Dale: You're gonna love it
- Chorus: We live on Avenue Q!
- Bonkers: Here's your keys!
- All: Welcome to Avenue Q!