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    This is a transcript for Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar (SpongeBob SquarePants): Survival of the Idiots.
  • (Title Card)
  • [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail are running down the block jumping up and down, disfiguring themselves in the process]
  • Dora: [hyperactive, in time with Steve and his gang] Alright, we're gonna go to Oswald and his friends' house! Yeah! Ha-ha! Keep the house warm, Oswald and friends, we're on our way to your house! Ha-ha-ha...
  • Steve: [hyperactive, in time with Dora and her friends] Yay! Yay! Ha-ha! We're gonna beat you there! I'm gonna... ah, it's gonna be fun! Ah-ha...
  • [They freeze in mid-run when they see Oswald and his friends' house is enclosed with metal walls. The fifteen walk up to the door, which has a "Keep Out" sign on it]
  • Boots: Oswald? [they enter] Hey, Oswald and friends, what's with the sign?
  • [the fifteen walk up to a TV which shows Oswald and his friends in pajamas eating marshmallows]
  • Blue: (Barks Look, they're on the Eating Channel.)
  • Oswald: [On TV. Oswald and his friends fill their cheeks with marshmallows and swallow, wincing in pain as the giant mass of marshmallows pass down their long, thin necks and into their small torso, deforming them as they go] Hello! [they eat more marshmallows] If y'all are watching this, that means we're asleep for the winter. This sleep is called hibernation. ["HIBERNATION" appears on the bottom of the screen. Oswald and his friends eat more marshmallows] During hibernation, animals don't like to be woken up. So do not disturb. [sternly] That means you, Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar. 
  • [Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail turn off and put on Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar's water helmets and their own]
  • Tickety: We better put these on.
  • Benny: Never mind, Steve and his gang. Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo said not to come in. Let's am-scray.
  • [Steve and his gang push the button, letting all the water drain out of the front foyer]
  • Slippery: When are you all gonna learn, Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar? "No" means "yes"!
  • Isa: Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail, listen, how many times do we have to-?
  • Sidetable: Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar, look at this! [snow falls in and covers the bottom of the house. Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar gasp and walk in]
  • Tico: What is this stuff? [pan around the house]
  • Mailbox: It's a vast, swirling wonderland of sparkling white plessure. Let it fill your senses with cascading, fluffy pillows of excitement and comfort as you've never felt before.
  • Diego: [teary-eyed] Wow, Mailbox, that was beautiful.
  • Shovel: What, he was just reading this candy wrapper, see? [Shovel hands Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar the wrapper. Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar gasp]
  • Baby Jaguar: (Meows Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail! Put your helmets back on! [Steve and his gang have taken their helmets off and eating the snowflakes] You all know there's no water in Oswald and his friends' house!)
  • Pail: It's okay, Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar. This stuff is water! Look! [Pail lets a flake land on her tongue and it melts into water]
  • Dora: We guess you're right. It's okay here!
  • Steve: Take them off. No one's looking. [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar do so and the fifteen cheer and burrow themselves in the snow. They pop back up with noses made of snow. Then, they hear a weird sound] Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar, did you hear that?
  • Boots: We think it came up from Oswald and his friends' house.
  • Blue: (Barks That is one tired house.)
  • Benny: Let's check it out. [cut to inside Oswald and his friends' house where Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail come in. They all gasp] Look what's in Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo's bed! [They walk over to the bed, where Oswald and his friends' are asleep in hibernation forms, looking like some weird creature-like monsters]
  • Tickety: Looks like some over-inflated Oswald and friends dolls!
  • Isa: I think these things are Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo.
  • Slippery: Hibernation must mean the opposite of beauty sleep.
  • Oswald: [snoring, talking in sleep] We've had enough of your dastardly deeds, Dirty Dan. We're gonna get you and your partner, Pinhead Larry or our names ain't Sherrifs... Oswald and friends... [snores]
  • Tico: [giggles] They must be dreaming about Texas outlaws. [the fifteen giggle] Look out, Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo, I'm Dirty Dan.
  • Weenie: (Barks We're gonna catch you and throw you in jail at taxpayers' expense.)
  • Diego: Oh, you all better run faster, Oswald and friends.
  • Sidetable: Yeah! I'm getting away! Run faster! [Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo move their arms and legs]
  • Baby Jaguar: (Meows Hurry! We're getting in a taxi!)
  • Mailbox: Faster, faster! [the fifteen giggle]
  • Henry: We'll get you two. You're nothing but pure evil! Just like newspaper comics... [they snore off to sleep, the fifteen giggle again]
  • Dora: Come on, Steve and his gang. We shouldn't disturb them anymore.
  • Shovel: That's not disturbing. This is disturbing. [Shovel struggles to creating a talking face that protrudes from his back] Hi, there, Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar. My name is Shovel's back.
  • Boots: Ha! That is really disturbing!
  • [the fifteen laugh uncontrollably. Cut to Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo, their eyes shoot open. Giant shadows loom over Dora, Boot,s, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail. Steve and his gang stop laughing while Dora and her friends continue to laugh]
  • Pail: Uh, Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar?
  • Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar: [stop laughing] Huh?
  • [Oswald and his friends are really mad now, they're steaming and roaring. Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail run, but Oswald and his friends has them all by their backs and give them some extreme wedgies. They run in mid-air anyway.]
  • Steve: Faster, Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar! They're gaining on us!
  • Benny: [Crying from the pain of the wedgies] Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo! No! Stop!
  • Daisy: We've warned ya, Dirty Dan! Now, you've just crossed the border into Hurtville!
  • Isa: Oswald and friends, it's us, your friends! Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail!
  • Blue: (Barks Please, Oswald and friends, we can't afford dry cleaning!)
  • Johnny Snowman: Gonna Skin y'all make a pare of size six...boots...[They fall asleep and drop the fifteen. They inch away and see Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo fall back into their bed]
  • Tickety: Fun's over.
  • Tico: Whew, we sure don't want to wake them up again. Too bad we don't have any earplugs to put on them.
  • Slippery: Yeah, all's I got are these bubbles that I have. [Slippery takes the bubbles out of their designated areas. They somehow form into shapes of earmuffs]
  • Diego: All right, Slippery! [Diego takes them and walks over to the bed. Diego puts the earmuffs on Oswald and his friends]
  • Madame Butterfly: We're gonna rip your arms off and... flapjacks? [snores]
  • Baby Jaguar: (Meows Well, that oughta work.)
  • Sidetable: [loudly] Hey, Oswald and friends, do they work? [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail look at each other and raise their eyebrows repeatedly and in symmetry]
  • Dora: Hey, Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo, if you all can't hear us, don't say anything!
  • Mailbox: Hey, Oswald and friends! Don't wake up! [the fifteen giggle, Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar hold a megaphone up to Oswald and his friends' heads and yell into it]
  • Boots: See ya later, Sherrifs Oswald and friends! [they laugh, the fifteen run out to the snowy plains and act like outlaws, with that drawling voice] You're under arrest!
  • Shovel: You'll never catch us! [They giggle and make a snowball and throw it at Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar's faces. They all laugh. Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail make another one, but they're hit by a giant mound of snow. Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar stand on a giant snow cannon, laughing] Hey, that's not fair! Cowboys couldn't afford cannons.
  • Benny: They couldn't afford station wagons either! [A giant snowball shaped like a station wagon lands on Steve and his gang]
  • Pail: Nice paneling.
  • Isa: All right, Pinhead. You're time is up! [cut to Steve and his gang, who look like cone-heads]
  • Steve: Who you calling Pinhead? We want to be Dirty Dan!
  • Tico: What makes you all think you all can be Dirty Dan?
  • Blue: (Barks We're dirty.) [Steve and his gang hit on the heads by a giant "snow" shovel that Dora and her friends have]
  • Diego: We'd say we're Dirty Dan. [Steve and his gang run off and return with a giant bat with a nail in it made of snow]
  • Tickety: We'd say we're Dirty Dan! [whacks Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar with it]
  • Baby Jaguar: (Meows Ow!) [whacks Steve and his gang again] (Meows We'd say we're Dirty Dan! Ow!)
  • Slippery: [whacks Dora and her friends] We're Dirty Dan. Ee!
  • Dora: [whacks Steve and his gang] We're Dirty Dan! Ow!
  • Sidetable: [whacks Dora and her friends] We're Dirty Dan. Ee!
  • Boots: [whacks Steve and his gang] We're Dirty Dan! Oof!
  • Mailbox: [whacks Dora and her friends] We're Dirty Dan. Ee!
  • Benny: [whacks Steve and his gang] We're Dirty Dan! D'oh!
  • [Inside the house, Oswald and his friends blisfully sleep until the repeated impacts cause the earmuffs to fall off.]
  • Shovel: [whacks Dora and her friends] We're Dirty Dan. Ee!
  • Isa: [whacks Steve and his gang] We're Dirty Dan! Ow!
  • Pail: [whacks Dora and her friends] We're Dirty Dan. Ee!
  • Tico: [whacks Steve and his gang] We're Dirty Dan! Ow!
  • Steve: [whacks Dora and her friends] We're Dirty Dan. [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar see something behind Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail and scream in terror] Screaming will get you nowh- [Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo reach out, grab the top of Steve and his gang's heads and rip them off. Oswald and his friends huff and growl as they stand behind Steve and his gang, towering over them with sharpened teeth bared in a snarl]
  • Oswald: [breathing heavily] Which one of you fellers is the real Dirty Dan?!
  • Blue: (Barks Um...We are?) [bad idea, as Oswald and his friends promptly backhand them and sends them flying across the house]
  • Diego: Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail! [Steve and his gang slam against the house hard enough to leave dents and little drumsticks float around their heads]
  • Tickety: Hot wings! [cut back to Oswald and his friends, who round on a cowering and terrified Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar]
  • Weenie: (Barks Okay, Pinhead Larry! Now you get yours!)
  • Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar: [screaming]
  • Daisy: PINHEAD!!! [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar whimper and run, Oswald and his friends are close behind. Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar later don't seem to be going far because they're right behind Oswald and his friends on the exercise wheel. They slip and get flung across the wheel. They fly off and slam into the picnic table, leaving a giant crater in its place. Oswald and his friends lean over the crater]
  • Henry: Now you're gonna pay for those crimes, Pinhead! [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar pick up a wood board]
  • Baby Jaguar: (Meows Oswald, and his friends, Stand back. We're warning ya!) [Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo roar right in Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar's faces]
  • Dora: Okay, we've warned ya! [Dora throws the wooden board, Steve and his gang pop up beside Oswald and his friends]
  • Slippery: Did you win? [they're hit by the board and roll down to the crater to Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar's feet] Hi, Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar!
  • Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo: [Roaring]
  • Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail: [Screaming]
  • [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail pop up out of the gravestones]
  • Sidetable: Okay, Dora and her friends, you all can be Dirty Dan. We just wanna be Steve and his gang.
  • Boots: Let's get out of here before Oswald and his friends wake up again! [the fifteen run to the door and Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar try to open it, but their hands slip off the wheel and accidentally hit Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail in the faces]
  • Mailbox: Ouch! [covers his eyes in pain]
  • Benny: Sorry, Mailbox, but the door is slippery! It's frozen shut!
  • Shovel: Let us have a try. [Shovel, Steve, and his gang go up to the door and spit on both hands, preparing to open the door] Open sesame! [nothing happens, Steve and his gang shrug] Well, we've done all we can do.
  • Isa: Then we're stuck in here...until the door thaws...in spring.
  • Pail: Barnacles. [cut to much later, where Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail are completely buried in the snow, shivering and blue] Is it spring yet?
  • Tico: N-n-n-no. [Steve, his gang, Dora and her friends' snow covering on their faces break off]
  • Steve: We're so cold that we're shivering! [a piece of Steve and his gang's side of their heads crack off, revealing their brains.]
  • Diego: We're so cold... [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar snap off their two nose drippings and click them together] that we can use our nose drippings as pairs of chopsticks!
  • Blue: (Barks We're so cold that...we're shivering!)
  • Baby Jaguar: (Meows Maybe we should build a fire.)
  • Dora: I got it! We'll burn the bark from Oswald and his friends' tree! [Dora begins to pull a strip of bark off the tree, but she is stopped by Oswald and his friends' booming voices]
  • Oswald: [off-screen] You're gonna be wearing an iron lung when we're through with you, Pinhead! [Dora quickly puts the strip back on and puts masking tape on it, whimpers. Dora goes back to her friends, Steve and his gang]
  • Boots: The fire's not gonna happen, Steve and his gang.
  • Benny: We don't get it! How does Oswald and his friends survive these intense conditions every year?
  • Tickety: Maybe they just ignore it.
  • Isa: Maybe...
  • Slippery: Maybe...
  • Tico: Maybe it's their skin! [cut to a shot of real-life creatures]
  • Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail: Yeah! [cut to inside the house where Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail marvel at Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo's skin]
  • Diego: Look at all that warm, toasty skin.
  • Sidetable: It's a color mind, but with skin. [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar slowly prepare to pluck off skin off Oswald and his friends]
  • Baby Jaguar: (Meows Carefully...carefully?) [Steve and his gang smack them]
  • Mailbox: Come on, do it! We're freezing here!
  • Dora: All right, all right, hang on a second! [she plucks one skin off, and Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo jump up from their sleep and roar ferociously. Then go back to sleep.] That should be enough right. [Steve and his gang take the skin]
  • Steve: Explorers, we're big people. Big, BIG people!
  • Boots: Well, We guess we've lived a full life. [he plucks one more skin, causing the same reaction with Oswald and his friends]
  • Blue: (Barks This is taking too long! We want the warm NOW!) [Blue takes a piece of masking tape, places it on Oswald and his friends]
  • Benny: Blue, no! [Blue rips the patches of Oswald and his friends' skin off with the tape, leaving patches of bare skin. Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo roar and go back to sleep. Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar sigh in relief]
  • Isa: Steve and his gang, are you all crazy?! [We see that Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail have placed the skin on their heads]
  • Tickety: No, we're warm.
  • Tico: Let us see that roll of tape.
  • [As we pan out from the house, we hear the tape ripping out Oswald and his friends' skin and them roaring. Cut to later, Steve and his gang come out of the house with strips of hair on their heads and their styles full of skin. Dora and her friends come out with big eyebrows and goatees.]
  • Slippery: Man, that skin really hits the spot! No more frozen bubbles. [His lifts his bubbles up, revealing skin under them]
  • Diego: And these eyebrow/goatee combos work like a charm. This is the best idea we've ever had.
  • Sidetable: You said it.
  • Baby Jaguar: (Meows We're ready for the longest, coldest winter ever!)
  • Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail: Bring it on!
  • [Just then, all the snow stops and melts. It's springtime again, flowers bloom.]
  • Dora: Spring?
  • Oswald and his friends: [Yawning]
  • Catrina: (saying Wow.)
  • Eggbert: Spring already?
  • Leo: Yes, yes! Spring already?
  • [the fifteen run frantically to the door, but the handle hasn't thawed yet]
  • Boots: Tartar sauce! The lock is still frozen!
  • Oswald: [off-screen] We sure can't wait to get outside and warm our skin!
  • [Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail blowing on the door handle until it melts. Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo peek out the window]
  • Weenie: (Barks Oh, look!)
  • Henry: It's Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail!
  • Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail: [Screaming]
  • Daisy: Hey, guys! [They climb off the door]
  • [Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo see all the different skin assortments the fifteen are wearing. They look down at their bald pink bodies and scream in horror.]
  • Benny: It's okay, Oswald and his friends. Creature pattern baldness is squite common in small mammals! [Steve and his gang hide their skinny pieces. Oswald and his friends are really ticked now]
  • Johnny Snowman: [growling with snow] Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, and Baby Jaguar...
  • Madame Butterfly: [growling with snow] Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail...
  • Isa: Don't worry, Oswald and his friends, we've got you all covered.
  • [She giggles Cut to Oswald, Weenie, Henry, Daisy, Johnny Snowman, Madame Butterfly, Catrina, Eggbert, and Leo's arms pouring some lemonade.]
  • Catrina: [giggles]
  • Eggbert: More lemonade, guys?
  • Dora, Boots, Benny, Isa, Tico, Diego, Baby Jaguar, Steve, Blue, Tickety, Slippery, Sidetable, Mailbox, Shovel, and Pail: Thanks, Oswald and his friends.
  • Leo: Spring sure is lovely.
  • The End.
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