Guilmon: [as Gomamon squeals] "That's it, Gomamon. Now, distribute your weight. You can do it. Balance."
Gomamon: "That tickles."
Guilmon: "Yes. Now try standing."
Gomamon: "Don't let me fall!" [A shirtless Gomamon works his way upright.] "Hot diggity dog, I'm surfing!"
[Gomamon is in a kiddie pool, standing on a wooden plank for a board with Guilmon supporting him.]
Veemon: [dressed as a lifeguard] "Not quite there, mini kahuna. But if you're brave enough, we at Trio's surf school will teach you how to–" [he kicks Agumon, who is posing as a soda vending machine, and receives a can full of soda] "–flip the lip, hang 10, or shave the barrel. For an additional fee, of course. Can you handle it?"
Gomamon: "I'm stoked! Teach me, teach me!" [He grabs at Guilmon.] "Aah! Don't let go, don't let go!"
Guilmon: [strangled] "I wouldn't think of it, Gomamon."
Veemon: "Check out these moves, Gomamon boy." [He demonstrates on dry land.] "Easy as 1 2 3. Agumon, we need the wave!"
Gomamon: "Wave?"
Guilmon: "Purely metaphorical, Gomamon. What Veemon means is–"
Gomamon: "Aaah!" [He points upwards.] "Help!"
[Agumon is on top of the lifeguard tower.]
Agumon: "Ready or not, here I am!" [He jumps.]
[A giant wave crushes part of the fence. Gomamon rides it for dear life. After it breaks, Guilmon, Veemon, and Gomamon lie shivering on the ground. Gaomon approaches.]
Gaomon: "You guys have more fun than a barrel full of monkeys! What's that Plank?"
Plank:
Gaomon: "You wanna surf too? Why, you'd swell up bigger than a breadbox!"
Veemon: "Well, step right up to Trio's Surf–" [He stops. Agumon has destroyed the scam.]
Agumon: "Are we having fun yet? Ha Ha Ha Ha!"
Veemon: [quietly] "Oh, you'll have fun." [loud] "Healing, after I get through–"
Gaomon: "Too bad. Plank was just aching to try a new ride!" [Veemon signals that Gaomon's crazy.] "One time Plank went on a roller-coaster 119 times in a row. I chucked biscuits after that! Didn't I, buddy? Why, Plank spent his whole allowance that day! A regular Rockefeller!"
Veemon: [interested] "Plank gets an allowance? Have I got a ride for you!" [He throws Plank across the yard.]
Gaomon: "Plank?" [He runs to retrieve his friend.]
Veemon: "Nice ride, huh Plank? That'll be twenty-five cents."
Gaomon: "Plank says you throw like a toothpick, Veemon! He won't pay for kiddie rides!"
Veemon: "Well you tell that doorstop that Veemon's got a ride that'll round his corners. And it's cheap cheap cheap!"
Gaomon: "Plank says your mouth runs faster than six-month-old cheese, Veemon."
Veemon: "I'll take that as a yes."
Guilmon: "I object! My skin is still pruned from that surf-school fiasco!"
Veemon: "Agumon, who are we to deny Plank the thrill ride of a lifetime? Let's get to work! Who says money can't buy happiness?"
Agumon: [to Plank] "Hello, my name is Agumon." [Hearing nothing, he puts his ear to Plank.]
Guilmon: "Save your energy, Agumon, we have lumber to bilk."
[Agumon and Guilmon are blowing up rubber bumpers around some wheeled chairs.]
Gaomon: "I said sorry, buddy! I forgot the camera at home!"
Veemon: "Okay, Gaomon boy, cough up a quarter for the ride."
Gaomon: "Don't look at me." [He moves Veemon's hand to Plank.] "Give Veemon his quarter, Plank."
[Veemon waits for nothing.]
Plank:
Gaomon: "Plank says he's broke!"
Veemon: [walking away] "No cash, no bumper car ride."
Plank:
Gaomon: "I'll spot you this time, but you better learn to pinch your pennies, mister!"
Veemon: [taking it] "What a pal."
Gaomon: "Now get in there and bump 'em!"
Veemon: [faking fear] "Plank's gonna bump us? Oh no! Plank's gonna bump us!" [He laughs.] "What's he gonna do, board us to death?" [He laughs again.] "Oh look, I'm scared stiff! Stiff as a board!"
Agumon: "Board jokes are funny!"
Guilmon: "Veemon, that's enough!"
Veemon: "What? Jealous you can't come up with a board joke?"
[Plank skids into the middle of the Trio. He sends them bouncing into each other and off the sides of the arena. The Trio's cars slowly lose their momentum and come to a halt. When they stop, they break down.]
Gaomon: "That-a-boy, buddy! Way to go, pal! Right on!"
Agumon: "Yippee! Ha ha!" [He bumps into Plank's cart, and Plank falls into his lap.] "No need to say anything, Plank, as I would not hear it anyway."
Gaomon: "Plank says bumper cars are for chickens and whoever thought that up should have their brain lacquered! Boy buddy, now that's harsh."
Guilmon: [trying to hold back an enraged Veemon] "Now Veemon, let's not do anything hasty. It's an inanimate object, for Pete's sake!"
Gaomon: "What's that, Plank? Another ride? You're starting to get that look again, mister!"
Veemon: "How was I supposed to know Plank was such an animal? I got something tucked away that's sure to curl his shavings."
[Veemon is announcing a dangerous ride in the construction site to Gaomon.]
Veemon: "Here's a ride that's sure to turn Plank's endgrain. Welcome to the Log of No Return. It's fast, thrilling, and worst of all, doused with depraved, upset, wood-eating termites!"
Agumon: "Show 'em how it works, Lumpy!" [He holds a chair over the log, and the termites instantly devour it.]
Gaomon: "Holy cow!"
Veemon: "Will Plank survive? Or turn into lunch for the really miffed termites?"
Guilmon: "You're scaring him, Veemon!" [to Gaomon] "Rest assured, Gaomon, all safety precautions have been taken. As safety is our prime–"
Veemon: "That'll be fifty cents. So'll that be cash or–"
Gaomon: "Fifty cents? The last ride was a quarter! C'mon, Plank!"
[As he walks away, Gaomon's face softens.]
Gaomon: "What'd you say?"
Plank:
Gaomon: "You're bumming me out, buddy!"
Plank:
Gaomon: "All right, all right!" [He hands Veemon two quarters.]
Agumon: "You lucky dog, you!" [He grabs Plank.] "Arf arf!"
Gaomon: [as Agumon's about to launch] "Wait, I changed my mind!"
[Plank shoots up the ramp in his roller skate. At the top, the skate falls off, and Plank is airborne. Termites mass at the point where the wood should come down. Inches above it, Plank's parachute inflates, and he floats safely out of reach.]
Gaomon: "Plank! You get back here!"
Guilmon: "Guo......darn it!" [He runs after Plank.]
Agumon: "Guilmon almost said a bad word, Veemon." [He gallops after Guilmon.]
Veemon: "Hey, hold on a second! What about the candy store? I got seventy-five cents, where ya goin?"
[Plank drifts lazily until he hits a tree and wedges in its branches.]
Gaomon: "Oh, brother. You get down from there! Your insatiable thrill-seeking's giving me an ulcer!"
Guilmon: "I can't help but think–"
Veemon: "This is your fault! Safety precautions my foot. Bah, this is bunk. I'm hitting the candy store."
Agumon: [grabbing Veemon] "Don't go, Veemon! Plank needs us!"
Gaomon: "Plank says who needs that fatheaded no-neck chicken-livered geek anyway."
Veemon: "That's it!" [pushing his friends up the tree] "I've had it with that stick's mouth!"
Guilmon: "But Veemon, he's so high up!"
Veemon: "Shut up and climb!"
Guilmon: "Veemon, wait! You're dealing with a sapling!"
Agumon: [the Trio now near the top] "I am scared, guys!"
Veemon: "Grab him, Guilmon!"
[Agumon's jar of termites falls out of his pocket. Hungrily, they begin to devour the tree.]
Gaomon: "Termites!"
Agumon: "Oops."
Guilmon: "Termites?"
[The termites finish off the tree, and Agumon, Guilmon, Veemon, and Plank fall down.]
The Trio: "Termites!" [They land in the creek with a splash.]
Gaomon: "I got you, buddy!"
Veemon: "Rats!"
Guilmon: "I'm wet!"
[Gaomon uses the Trio heads as stepping stones.]
Veemon: "Hey!"
Gaomon: "Hang on, Plank!"
Agumon: "You're welcome!"
[On the other side of the creek, Gaomon catches Plank.]
Veemon: "That guy's really getting on my nerves!"
Gaomon: "Are you happy now, Mr. Troublemaker?"
Veemon: [floating downstream] "The water's kinda brisk on the pants, huh Guilmon?"
[The Trio go down a waterfall screaming.]
[The Trio come to the end of the creek, where Gaomon is waiting.]
Gaomon: "You won't believe this, guys, but this crazy kid wants to go on another ride."
Veemon: "No way!"
Guilmon: "Plank's appetite for death-defying rides almost got us killed!"
Veemon: "Why don't you take that thing home and– stain it or something."
Gaomon: "Plank says, let's talk cash."
Veemon: "I'm listening."
Gaomon: "Plank says, you need a breathmint, Veemon."
[Veemon is showing Gaomon a fearsome rollercoaster.]
Veemon: "You want it, you got it! Welcome to Requiem for a Whiplash!"
Gaomon: [nervous] "Sure looks hairy, Plank."
Plank:
Gaomon: [defiant] "I'm not a sissy! You better be nice to me!"
Guilmon: [under a load of tools and blueprints] "Oh I'm tired. So tired. Without limitation, truly tired. Utterly, unequivocally tired."
Agumon: [holding up a potato] "This is my lucky potato, Plank! May it serve you well. Here you go."
[Agumon gives Plank the potato, which falls to the ground.]
Veemon: "As you can see, we're talking a high-class vomit-inducing ride here. It'll cost you a buck to ride."
Gaomon: [shocked] "One dollar? Plank, I got a feeling these guys are taking us for a ride!"
Plank:
Gaomon: "Are you warped, Plank? You're telling me if the Trio ride with you you'll give Veemon five bucks?"
Guilmon: [sweating] "As generous as that may be, I really don't think–" [Veemon hits him with a shopping cart.]
Veemon: "All aboard the money train! We're gonna be rich! Drowning in cash! Swimming in moolah!" [The cart stops at the start.] "Top of the heap, baby!"
Gaomon: "Veemon! Don't listen to Plank! He's just looking for kicks!"
Guilmon: "Gaomon's right, Veemon. Plank's just up to–"
Veemon: "Don't rain on my parade, Sockhead!" [to Gaomon] "Hand over the gullible little hunk of wood." [He realizes Plank is missing.] "Where'd he go?"
Agumon: "He is over there, the little rascal."
[Plank is leaning against a rock. He falls forward onto a step, tripping the wires that hold the cart back. The cart starts to move onto the ride.]
Guilmon: "Plank has turned the tables, Veemon."
Veemon: "What a weasel!"
Agumon: "The little dickens."
Veemon: "I want my FIVE-"
[The ride starts. The Trio go down the hill full tilt.]
Gaomon: "What a horrible way to go!" [to Plank] "Nice trick, you sneak, you."
Agumon: [riding with his friends] "Faster, pussycat, faster!"
Veemon: "Agumon, give it a break, willya?"
Agumon: "You got it, Veemon!"
[Agumon sticks his head out behind and rips up the boards with his teeth. The cart goes off a hill and the Trio fall out. Veemon lands on the board. Guilmon lands on top of him. Agumon lands on top of both of his friends.]
Agumon: "Giddyap, horsey!"
[The cart lands on top of them and flips right-side up. The wheels fall off and the axles spark against the wood.]
Gaomon: [watching through binoculars] "Look at the sparks, Plank!"
Agumon: [not scared at all] "Let's sing a song!"
[The cart slides into a giant half-cylinder and stops dead. The cylinder tips over and points at the sky. A ticking, like that of a time bomb, is heard.]
Guilmon: [scared] "Oh dear. Curse my avid inventing."
Veemon: "What?"
[A bell rings and a spring shoots the Trio skyward. Above Gaomon, six quarters fall out of the sky.]
Gaomon: "Well whaddya know, we got a refund, Plank!"
Plank:
Gaomon: "Hey Veemon, Plank says you owe him a buck for the ride!" [He sniggers.] "Good one, buddy."
The End