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Here is part two of James Graham's sixth movie spoof, Rayman Pan.

Cast

  • Rayman (from Rayman) as Peter Pan
  • Coco Bandicoot (from Crash Bandicoot) as Wendy Darling
  • Duck (from Thomas and Friends) as John Darling
  • Stanley (from Thomas and Friends) as Michael Darling
  • Cream (from Sonic X) Tinker Bell
  • Admiral Razorbeard (from Rayman) as Captain Hook
  • Admiral Razorbeard's Lackey (from Rayman) as Mr. Smee
  • Neptuna (from Croc) as Tick-Tock the Crocodile
  • The Lost Boys played by:
  • Double Dee (from Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy) as Slightly
  • Courage (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Nibs
  • Asterix and Obelix (from Asterix) as The Twins
  • Eddy (from Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy) as Cubby
  • Ed (from Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy) as Tootles
  • Ly the Fairy (from Rayman) as Tiger Lily
  • Officer Dibble (from Top Cat) as Indian Chief
  • Sagwa Miao (from Sagwa the Siamese Chinese Cat) as Nana
  • Didi Pickles (from Rugrats) as Mary Darling
  • Stu Pickles (from Rugrats) as George Darling
  • Banzai, Ed, Jasper, Horace, Sal Left Thumb, Henchman 800, Hunchman 1000, Cannon Boat Keith, Amos Slade, and The Goons (from The Lion King, 101 Dalmatians, Rayman, Croc, The Fox and the Hound, and Sleeping Beauty) as Captain Hook's Crew

Transcript

  • Narrator: All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But, this time, it happens in London. It happens on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Pickles family. And Rayman Pan has chosen this particular house, because there are people here who believe in him. There is Mrs. Didi Pickles.
  • (In the bathroom of the corner house, lives Didi Pickles)
  • Didi Pickles: (humming) Stu dear, do hurry! We musn't be late for the party you know.
  • Narrator: Mrs. Pickles believes that Rayman Pan is the spirit of youth, except for Mr. Pickles...
  • (In the parents' bedroom, lives Stu Pickles)
  • Stu Pickles: Didi, unless I find my gloves, we don't-a go to the party. And if we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in the Mushroom-a Kingdom again. And if I can never show- Oof!
  • Narrator: Well, Mr. Pickles is a practical man. His two boys, however, Duck and Stanley, you know, the two engines, however, believe Rayman Pan was a real person, and make him of the hero of all their nursery games.
  • (In the window of the nursery, we see two shadows fighting the other with wooden double blades. One has one in its left hand and a hanger in its right hand while the other has another in its right hand.)
  • (The two boys, Duck and Stanley, fighting with two double bladed swords, duel with each other)
  • Duck: Blast you, Rayman Pan!
  • Stanley: Never!
  • Duck: (pulls open a drawer that is under Stanley's pajama-clad feet) I'll teach you to cut off me buffer!
  • (Coco Bandicoot suddenly goes by)
  • Coco Bandicoot: (chuckling) Oh no, Duck. That's your left hand.
  • Duck: Oh yes. Right, sorry, but thank you, Coco.
  • Narrator: Coco Bandicoot, the eldest, not only believed, she was the supreme authority on Rayman Pan and all his marvelous adventures.
  • Coco Bandicoot: Oh, Sagwa Miao, must we always take that nasty tonic?
  • (Sagwa Miao carries a tray full of nasty toxic)
  • Narrator: Now, Sagwa Miao, the nursemaid, being a cat, likes to keep her opinions to herself...
  • Sagwa Miao: Whoa!
  • Narrator: ...and loves to view the whole affair with a certain tolerance.
  • Sagwa Miao: There we go.
  • Stanley: Take that!
  • Duck: Insolent boy! I'll tear you to pieces!
  • Stanley: And I'll defeat with my laser sword. Aha!
  • Duck: Ouch! Hey, watch it! Watch you're pointing that thing!
  • Stanley: I'm sorry, Duck.
  • Duck: That's alright. But anyways... Where was I? Ah, oh, yes. Ah! Peter Pan and Wendy living in Neverland... K-I-S-S-I-N-- (Stanley whacks Duck in the face) G.
  • Stanley: Oh, poor homeless Admiral Razorbeard. You gonna worry? (Duck whacks him) Oof! Why, you...
  • Duck: Scuttle me bones, boy! I'll banish you from my kingdom!
  • Stanley: I'll never give in. You destroyed the lost boys' hideout, you villain!
  • Duck: Insolent pup!
  • Stanley: Wicked monster king!
  • Duck: Aha! I gotcha!
  • Stanley: You didn't, either. You never touched me. Take that! And that! And that! (Pretending that he is dead, Duck places his hand over his chest, groans a fake death groan, and falls to the floor)
  • Stu Pickles: (walking in) Boys, boys, less noise, please.
  • (He walks past the blocks, which startles Sagwa)
  • Sagwa Miao: Ow! Hey! Do you mind?! (goes to the messed-up block tower to build it up again)
  • (She goes to the messed-up block tower to build it up again)
  • Duck: Oh, hello, father.
  • Stanley: You old bilge rat!
  • Stu: Wha, wha, what? Now see here, Stanley!
  • Duck: No, not you, father. You see, he's Rayman Pan.
  • Stanley: And Duck's Admiral Razorbeard.
  • Stu: Yes, yes, of course. Er...have you seen my cuff...
  • (He bumps into Sagwa, who bumps into the blocks and causes them to fall again)
  • Sagwa Miao: Ouch! Hey! Watch it!
  • Stu: Oh, Sagwa, for goodness' sake! Where are those cuff links?
  • Sagwa: Hmph! (knocks the blocks over)
  • Duck: Cuff links, father?
  • Stu: Yes, the gold ones.
  • Duck: Stanley, the buried treasure. Where is it?
  • Stanley: I don't know.
  • Duck: The map, then. Where's the treasure map?
  • Stanley: It got lost.
  • Stu: (picks up his brown waistcoat) Good heavens! My waistcoat!
  • Stanley: Hooray! You found it! You found it!
  • Stu: Yes, so I have. And hereafter,...don't paw me, Stanley. This is my last clean (The waistcoat front pulls up to his face, showing a treasure map on it)...no! No!
  • (Didi, now wearing red opera gloves, walks into the nursery)
  • Didi: Stu dear, we really must hurry or we'll be late.
  • Stu: Didi, look!
  • Didi: Stu!
  • Stanley: It's only chalk, father.
  • Didi: Why, Stanley...
  • Duck: It's not his fault, it's in the story. And Coco Bandicoot said...
  • Stu Pickles: Coco? Story? I might have known. Coco?! Coco!
  • Coco Bandicoot: Yes, father?
  • Stu: Would you kindly explain...
  • Coco Bandicoot: Oh, mother! You look simply lovely!
  • Didi: Thank you, dear.
  • Stu: Coco...
  • Didi: Just my old gown made over, but it did turn out all right, and I...
  • Stu: Didi, if you don't mind! I'd...
  • Coco Bandicoot: Why, father! What have you done to your shirt?
  • Stu: What have I? (groans)
  • Didi: Now, Stu, really! It comes right off.
  • Stu: That's no excuse! Coco! Haven't I warned you, stuffing the boys' heads with a lot of silly stories?!!
  • Coco Bandicoot: Oh, but they aren't.
  • Stu: I say they are! Captain Razorhead! Rayman Pirate!
  • Coco Bandicoot: Rayman Pan, father.
  • Stu: Pan, pirate, poppycock!
  • (Didi, Coco, Duck, and Stanley begin protesting at once by begging and pleading)
  • All: Oh, really. No, father. Stu! You don't understand.
  • Stu: ABSOLUTE POPPYCOCK! And let me tell you, this ridiculous...
  • Didi: (about to put on his green necktie) Now, Stu.
  • Stu: Now, Stu? Now, Stu?! (putting on the necktie himself, only to make a furious tangle) WELL, "NOW, STU" WILL HAVE HIS SAY! (Sagwa, while fixing the blocks, listens in anger)
  • Didi: (fixing the tie neatly) Please, dear.
  • Stu: Didi, the child's growing up! It's high time she had a room of her own!
  • Coco Bandicoot: Father!
  • Didi: Stu!
  • Duck: What?
  • Stanley: No.
  • (The blocks fall out of Sagwa's mouth as she gasps in shock)
  • Sagwa: What?! Oh no!
  • Stu Pickles: I mean it! Young lady, this is your last night in the nursery! And that's my last word on the matter.
  • (He turns to leave, but trips over Sagwa, who attempts to run, but is unaware that she is being knocked into the blocks by Stu again)
  • Sagwa: YIKES!!!!!
  • (Sagwa trips on a toy wagon and passes it to Stu, who is now standing on the wagon and spinning out of control)
  • Stu Pickles: No!
  • Sagwa: HEY!!!!!!
  • (Sagwa is sent rolling across the nursery and knocked back as Stu is sent flying as the handle of the toy wagon makes a rip in the rug)
  • Stu Pikcles: NO!
  • (And with a large crash, he crashes into a drawer, while Sagwa crashes into a wall.)
  • Sagwa: Yeousch!
  • (As for Stu, he untangles himself and falls to the floor, before something lands on his head.)
  • Eveyone: Oh!
  • (Stu is happy thinking it's him they feel sorry for him, but instead of running over to him, they run over to Sagwa)
  • Sagwa: My head hurts.
  • Everyone: Poor Sagwa!
  • Stu: Poor Sagwa? (standing up and pointing to the half-open door) This is the last straw! Out! OUT, I SAY!
  • Stanley: No, father, no!
  • Stu: Yes! (dragging Sagwa across the nursery with Stanley still clinging to him) THERE'LL BE NO MORE CATS FOR BUTLERS IN THIS HOUSE!
  • (Didi picks up poor Stanley, who begins to weep in Little Toot's Mel Blanc voice from Melody Time)
  • Stanley: Goodbye, Sagwa. (Sagwa waves back)

Sagwa: Goodbye, everyone.

  • Stu: (dragging Sagwa outside) Poor Sagwa. Oh yes, poor Sagwa! But poor father? Oh no! (crawls on the ground, looking for something) I know that rope is here somewhere. Blasted, where is that rope? (turns to see Sagwa with a rope in his hoof) Oh, thank you. (As he ties the rope on her collar, he sees a sad look on Sagwa's face) Dash it all, Sagwa, don't look at me like that, it's not personal it' just that, well, you're not really a butler at all you're, well, a cat. And the children aren't animals. They're heroes. And sooner or later you three, (petting Sagwa's head) those kids will grow up.
  • (Then he walks away, leaving Sagwa sad and discouraged)
  • (Meanwhile, Didi is putting the children to bed. Coco Bandicoot, who is using a jewelry box as a bed, looks worried.)
  • Coco Bandicoot: But, mother, I don't want to grow up.
  • Didi: Now, dear, (giving her a kiss on the forehead and covering her up with a dark red blanket (with a plaid pattern) and a sky-blue sheet) don't worry about it anymore tonight.
  • Duck: (using a matchbox as a bed) He called Rayman Pan absolute poppycock.
  • Didi: I'm sure he didn't mean it, Duck. (tucks Duck into bed) Father was just upset.
  • Stanley: (using a person's shoe as a bed) Poor She Bitzer! (sniffles as a little tear runs down his cheek) Out there all alone.
  • Didi: No more tears, Duck. (takes out a red handkerchief from her dress pocket, wipes his eyes and nose, and tucks him and a stuffed toy tiger in) It's a warm night. He'll be all right.
  • (As Didi kisses head, Stanley smiles and finds something shiny in his small right hand)
  • Stanley: Mother?
  • Didi: What is it, dear?
  • Stanley: Burried Treasure. (handing her Stu's golden cuff links)
  • Didi: Now, children. Don't judge your father too harshly. After all, he really loves you very much.
  • Coco Bandicoot: Oh, don't lock it, mother. He might come back.
  • Didi: He?
  • Coco Bandicoot: Yes, Rayman Pan. You see, I found something that belonged to him.
  • Didi: Oh? And what's that?
  • Coco Bandicoot: (yawning) His shadow.
  • Didi: Shadow?
  • Coco Bandicoot: Mm-hm. She Bitzer had it, but I--(falls asleep) I took it away.
  • Didi: (turning out the light) Yes, of course. Good night, dear.
  • (Didi then closes the door behind her and follows Stu)
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