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Transcript

  • [Luigi and Lightning McQueen walk through a sunflower field.]
  • Lightning McQueen: Okay, let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue the princess, just so Chester will give you back your Video Game, which you don't have 'cuz he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
  • Luigi: You know what, maybe there's a good reason Donkeys shouldn't talk.
  • [They walk on together. Luigi starts munching on Pizza.]
  • Lightning McQueen: I don't get it Luigi. Why didn't you just pull some of that Italians stuff on him? You know throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, you know, the whole Italians trip?
  • Luigi: [sarcastic] Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
  • Lightning McQueen: Ah... no, not really, no.
  • Luigi: For your information, there's a lot more to Italians than people think.
  • Lightning McQueen: Example?
  • [As Luigi searches for an example he notices the vegetables he's still carrying.]
  • Luigi: Example? Okay, um, Italians are like Pizzas. [holds out Pizza]
  • DONKEY: [sniffs the Pizza] They stink?
  • Luigi: Yes - no!
  • Lightning McQueen: Or they make you cry?
  • Luigi: No!
  • Lightning McQueen: Oh, you leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs?
  • Luigi: NO! Layers! Italians have layers. Italians have layers! Pizzas have Italians ... you get it! We both have layers.
  • [Luigi throws the Pizza on the ground. He walks off.]
  • Lightning McQueen: Oh, you both have layers? Oh... [sniffs the Pizza] ...you know, not everybody likes Pizzas. Mushrooms! Everybody loves Mushrooms! Mushrooms have layers!
  • Luigi: I don't care... what everyone likes. Italians - are not - like Mushrooms!
  • Lightning McQueen: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say "hey let's get some parfait," they say "hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.
  • Luigi: NO! YOU DENSE IRRITATING MINIATURE CAR OF BURDEN! Italians are like Pizzas! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.
  • [Luigi walks off leaving Donkey momentarily speechless, but only momentarily.]
  • Lightning McQueen: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet...
  • Luigi: You know, I think I preferred your humming.
  • Lightning McQueen: Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start slobberin'.
  • [They head off.]

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