Main

• Paramount still logo
• Announcer: Coming to videocassette and DVD.
• The Longest Yard Trailer
• Nick Jr VHS Trailer
• Announcer: Now available on videocassette and DVD.
• Coach Carter Trailer 
• Announcer: And now, enjoy Team America: World Police 1 1/2 sneak peek.
• (Random Youtube Videos Play)
• Chris: Well, enough of that.
• [Chris fast fowards the movie]
• Spottswoode: Uh... Chris? What are you doing?
• Chris: I'm fast fowarding to the part where we come in!
• Sarah: But you can't go out of order!
• Chris: Au contraire, our human pals. I've got the remote.
• Gary: But everyone's gonna get fucking confused! We gotta go back to the beginning of the story.
• Chris: We're not in the beginning of the story!
• (Bubbles from PPG cries)
• Lisa: Yes, we were - the whole time!
• [Tim Allen Grunt]
• Chris: Yeah, but they don't know that!
• [Dog woofs]
• Gary: Then why don't we tell them our story?
• [Thomas falls down mine]
• Gary, Chris, Joe, Spottswoode, Lisa, Sarah scream
• Joe:  Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we tell a different story?
• Spottswoode: Ooh! We like the sound of that.
• Gary: A little backstage tour. Take 'em behind the scenes for revealing and imitate look at the story within the story!
• Sarah: 'Cause what they don't know is how we really were there even through they didn't know were there, you know?
• Lisa: Couldn't have said it better ourselves.
• [Lisa presses the button]
• Gary: So, does this mean we're going back to the beginning?
• Spottswoode: Oh, no, Gary. No. We're going way back... to before of the beginning.
• (South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut II)
• Chris: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. A 2nd South Park movie? What's with the fucking sequel? No, no, no. The sequel has got to go.
• Chris: Builds Dora The Explorer: The Movie sign
• Spottswoode: [Offscreen] Chris! you can't use Dora The Explorer: The Movie, there's already a live action film.)
• Chris: Hmmm. You got a point there, Spottswoode. It's not a sequel anyway.
• Lisa: [Offscreen] Yeah! More like a behind the scenequel.
• Gary: A whatawhoquel?
• Joe: [Offscreen] Oh, You know. In the betweenquel.
• Chris:  That's it! Joe and the gang, our friends. It's genius!
• [Chris fixes the logo]
• (Team America: World Police 1 1/2)
• Chris: There. Now this title's a knockout.
• [Coming soon from Paramount Pictures logo slams]
• Chris: [Offscreen] Ow!
• Lisa: [Offscreen] Not literally.
• [2021]
• Announcer: Stay tuned for a special presentation after the movie.
• Announcer: And now, we're pleased to bring you, our feature presentation.
• FBI Warning
• This film has been motified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit the screen.
• [Paramount Pictures logo (Still)] (With Alice In Wonderland Music)