A parody of the Robot Chicken episode starring characters from Care Bears


  • Brave Heart Lion as Alex
  • Loyal Heart Dog as the Count
  • Sadness (from Inside Out) as Blade
  • Grumpy Bear as Cookie Monster
  • Funshine Bear as Big Bird
  • Good Luck Bear as Oscar the Grouch
  • Polite Panda as Ernie
  • Perfect Panda as Bert
  • Bright Heart Raccoon as Grover
  • Tenderheart Bear as Elmo
  • No Heart as Count Chocula


[side of a building]

New Guy (Brave Heart Lion): Thanks for throwing me a welcoming party, Loyal Heart! I've never been to a party hosted by a vampire before.

Loyal Heart Dog: I do it for all the newcomers, Brave Heart. After tonight, I guarantee you'll be... one of us. (laugh)

[cut to inside of building, with scenarios of: Good Luck Bear and Funshine Bear partying, along with Grumpy Bear deejaying, Polite Panda and Perfect Panda hugging in content, and Bright Heart Raccoon making out with two generic care bears.]

Brave Heart Lion: I guess when our show's guests include Katy Perry and Ice Tea, it's a slippery slope. (woos in joy) Hey, Bright Heart Raccoon! Hi, Playful Heart Monkey!

[blood drips onto Brave Heart's arm, followed by all the sprinklers leaking blood, zombifying the other care bears]

Brave Heart Lion: Oh, no! Loyal Heart! He turned you all into... to... the undead!

Loyal Heart Dog: If you assumed I was a vampire in every other way but that, man I'd count one. One moron!

[Loyal Heart shoves Brave Heart onto the floor, trying to crawl away from the newly born care bear zombies.]

Brave Heart Lion: Oh, no! (runs into a blue emotion in black with shades, who is Sadness) Oh, nice character intro! How long have you been here watching me urinate myself?!

Loyal Heart Dog: Get him!

[Sadness readies a shotgun, and shoots the Zombie Care Bears, in order: Bright Heart Raccoon, Grumpy Bear, (punches Tenderheart Bear, strangles Polite Panda and Perfect Panda, followed by bashing their heads together, and then using a sword to cut Funshine Bear's head, but not before him saying:)

Funshine Bear: "S" is for "severed".

[then Sadness decapitates Funshine Bear, and proceeds to attempt to shoot Good Luck Bear, but the metal trash can keeps deflecting the bullets]

Good Luck Bear: Ha! Flawless, built-in defense system! Wait what are you doing?!

[Sadness lifts the lid, and then successfully kills Good Luck Bear, followed by Loyal Heart Dog flinging himself at Sadness, who in turn holds him against a wall]

Loyal Heart Dog: I see one, one dead... Oh my goodness, there's not a speck of blood on you. What, do you keep a pack of Handi-Wipes in that flight jacket?

Sadness: No, just this. [pulls out a grenade]

Loyal Heart Dog: One, two...

Sadness: Stop counting!

Loyal Heart Dog: That was a play-by-play. I just urinated in my own pants.

[Sadness stuffs the grenade in Loyal Heart's mouth and throws him aside before Loyal Heart groans in agony for a few seconds prior to exploding. Sadness then helps Brave Heart Lion to his feet.]

Brave Heart Lion: Wow, so I guess if you've hunted all the way to CB Land, you must have gotten every vampire in the world.

Sadness: Not quite.

[cut to No Heart's castle]

No Heart: Who wants some of my No Heart cereal? Which if looked at from a very specific point of view is a nutritious part of this balanced breakfast!

[Sadness cocks a shotgun]

No Heart: You!

[Sadness blows No Heart's brains out]

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