Guilmon: [holding up a marble] "This is one of my favorites, Agumon! Note: one small object and one large object."
[Agumon is holding a bowling ball. He yawns.]
Guilmon: "Now, and this is the riveting part, if we drop both objects, in unison, that's at the same time, Agumon, one would assume the larger object would land first! Au contraire. Objects of different masses do fall at the same rate! Isn't that amazing! Ahem. Now, Agumon, when I say go, release the ball. Ready, set, go!"
[Guilmon drops his marble. A few seconds later, Agumon releases his bowling ball.]
Guilmon: "Agumon, you weren't paying attention, were you? We need to drop our objects at the same time. Shall we try again?"
Agumon: [bored] "Okay."
Guilmon: "Ready? Set? Go." [He drops his, but Agumon holds on to the ball.]
Agumon: "Uh oh. It's stuck, Guilmon!" [The ball is indeed stuck to his fingers.]
Guilmon: "Just relax your fingers, Agumon." [Agumon begins to shake the ball.]
Agumon: "It's devouring my hand, Guilmon!"
Guilmon: "It's just a bowling ball, Agumon, calm down."
Agumon: "Get it off!"
[The ball comes loose right into Guilmon's face, throwing him through the fence. Guilmon lands next to Veemon's door. Veemon rushes out carrying a cardboard box and looking nervously from side to side.]
Veemon: "Agumon!"
Agumon: "Howdy, neighbor!"
Veemon: "Quick, hide these magazines!"
Agumon: "Hide these magazines?"
Veemon: "What are ya? A parrot? Hide em! Quick! Go! Run! Hurry up! Run! Hurry up!"
Agumon: [catching Veemon's panic] "Hide what? Wait! Where! What?!?"
Veemon: "Numbskull." [He shoves Agumon and runs back into his room.] "Aw come on Mom, not that! Wait! I need this stuff!" [He comes back out wearing a sombrero and dragging a trashcan.] "Geez."
[Inside, the sound of vacuuming can be heard. Veemon spots Guilmon and becomes irate.]
Veemon: "Quit lying around, Guilmon! My mom's cleaning out my room, and she's making me throw out all my cool stuff!" [whispering] "But luckily, I was able to save the–" [he looks from side to side and then speaks in Guilmon's ear] "–magazines."
Agumon: [reappearing] "I hid them, Veemon! They're snug as a bug on a rug in a jug by a slug in–"
Guilmon: "How you managed in one fell swoop to make a mockery of the laws of physics is–"
Veemon: "Outta the way, Sockhead! Get back there." [He pushes Agumon to the side of the house.] "You hid em good, right Agumon? In a safe place where no one will find them?"
Agumon: "You bet, Veemon!"
Veemon: "Thattaboy, Agumon! Where?"
Agumon: "Yeah!" [stunned] "I forget, Veemon."
Veemon: "You forget? Whaddya mean you forget! My brother, Impmon gave me those magazines!"
Agumon: "The number you are dialing is not in service."
Guilmon: "I suppose one man's treasure is another man's trash. Let's simply retrace Agumon's steps. That should jog his memory."
Veemon: "This better work."
[Agumon leads his friends down the sidewalk.]
Agumon: "Well, I was walking down the sidewalk, carrying Veemon's box, when um, I saw a bug." [He bends over.] "Hello, bug! I followed the little dickens to this tree, see? Then I hit my head on that branch!" [He stands up, hits his head, and stumbles to the other side of the tree.] "Nope. Sorry. It was this one." [He bonks his head on the other branch.] "Then I gazed at the stars." [He smiles dopily.]
Guilmon: "Agumon, please don't do that."
Veemon: "C'mon, we're wasting time. Where'd you hide the magazines, Agumon?"
Agumon: "Here we go: a rubber chicken." [He pulls one out of his jacket, tosses it away, and runs down the street.] "Hide the box, hide the box I said." [He slips on the chicken.] "But then I tripped! Hanging on to my box of magazines, for dear life, I fell." [He falls and slides down the street.] "And slid into a sewer."
Veemon: "A sewer!?!?" [He pulls Agumon out of the grate and looks inside, horrified.] "My magazines are in the sewer?"
Guilmon: "Seems appropriate. You realize if your magazines are in that sewer, Veemon, they'd be totally illegible, the text smeared by the damp sludge."
Veemon: "It's the pictures I'm worried about! Agumon, did you hide my box down in that sewer?"
Agumon: "Um, not in the sewer, Veemon."
Veemon: "So where are they?" [He clips a clothespeg to Agumon.] "Talk!"
Agumon: "Ouch!"
Veemon: "Where, Agumon?" [He clips a second to Agumon.]
Agumon: "Ouch!!"
Veemon: "Those magazines are a one-of-a-kind anniversary issue! Cough em up!" [A third is clipped on.]
Agumon: [in pain] "I forget, Veemon, I forget!!!"
Guilmon: "Clothespegs, Veemon? Please. Obviously your answer lies deep within Agumon's subconscious. You'd have a better chance of penetrating reinforced concrete. I suggest we analyze Agumon's person for clues. Forensic science, Veemon, and a hint trace of grain could lead us to your magazines." [Veemon clamps his hands over Guilmon's mouth. Patamon rides by.]
Veemon: "If Patamon knew about this, he'd take my magazines for his own viewing pleasure."
Guilmon: "Time's a wastin. I've always wanted to say that." [He leads Veemon away. Veemon grabs Agumon.]
Agumon: "Veemon, will these leave marks?"
Veemon: "Big ones, Agumon."
[Guilmon, in his basement, carries a gigantic microscope over to a table.]
Guilmon: "My microscope should provide the answer." [He hands Agumon a pane of glass.] "Hold this please. Thank you."
Veemon: "What's with the glass?"
Guilmon: "Veemon, please don't interrupt. Now Agumon–" [he pulls out a cupcake] "Do you see what I see?"
Agumon: "CUPCAKE!" [He begins salivating.]
Veemon: "So what's with the cupcake?"
Guilmon: "Patience, please!"
[Guilmon puts the cupcake on the glass. Agumon immediately bends over to scarf it, smashing his face on the pane. Guilmon puts a second pane onto the back of Agumon's head, crushing it flat and magnifying it.]
Veemon: "What's with Agumon's face!"
Guilmon: [agitated] "Will you just let me do this, Veemon!" [He lays Agumon on the table, face under the microscope. Guilmon climbs a ladder and peers through the viewing scope.] "There we go, and focus–" [He is plunged into a disgusting land of bacteria and primordial slop.] "–oh dear. Agumon, there's a new invention called soap, have you heard of it? Well this is gonna be more difficult than I thought, Veemon." [He looks at Agumon's head.] "Oh my lord!"
Veemon: "What's taking so long? Someone's sure to find them!"
Guilmon: "I'm having a hard time ascertaining the clues from Agumon's copious contaminants. A moment please, read a magazine or something."
Veemon: "Read a magazine? I would if I knew where Agumon hid em!"
Guilmon: [snottily] "Oh, you read those?" [He returns to the microscope.] "Well well well, what do we have here? This looks interesting." [In Agumon's right ear is a miniature sandbox. Guilmon scans, and data flows out.] "Let's see now. Hmm. Fine loose grains of rock, mostly quartz..."
Veemon: "Well?"
Guilmon: "Commercial grade sand, Veemon. From a sandbox, I'd surmise. Agumon must've–"
Veemon: [elated] "Buried my magazines in the sandbox! Veemon's coming to get you, babies!" [He leaves dragging Guilmon with him.]
Agumon: [following Veemon, glass still stuck to his head] "I love babies, guys." [The glass falls off his head when he runs into the doorframe. It shatters.] "Coochie coochie coo!"
[The Trio enter the playground carrying digging implements. Suddenly, Veemon stops.]
Guilmon: "Veemon, why are you stopping here? The–" [Veemon jams a hand over his mouth. Patamon rides past.]
Veemon: [agitated] "What's he doin' following us? Maybe he–the sandbox! OH NO, MY MAGAZINES!"
[Veemon tears off towards the sandbox. Gomamon is playing there, digging holes.]
Gomamon: "Jeepers! If only Palmon could see how good I am at manual labor!" [Veemon grabs him.]
Veemon: "And what are you diggin' for?" [He shakes Gomamon.] "Are you working for Patamon?"
Gomamon: "I don't know what you're talking about, Veemon! I'm flying solo!"
Guilmon: "Veemon, you put Gomamon down! Can't you see he's an innocent bystander in all this? I hardly think that Gomamon, or Patamon for that matter, have any knowledge to the whereabouts of your magazines!"
Veemon: [paranoid] "OH, is that so? And what makes you think that, Mr. I-know-everything-about-Patamon-knowing-nothing-about-my-magazines?"
Agumon: [carrying a shovel] "Boy, Guilmon. Veemon never looks at me like that."
Veemon: "Shut up and start digging, Agumon."
[Agumon digs into the grass by the sandbox.]
Agumon: "Lucky feller."
Veemon: "Once he digs em up, I'll hide em where no one'll find em!"
Agumon: [digging] "Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole."
Guilmon: "But this is the wrong spot, Veemon. Agumon, you should be excavating here, in the sandbox." [He maneuvers Agumon to the right place.] "Shall I lend a hand?"
Veemon: "Oh, no you don't. Those are my magazines."
Guilmon: "Veemon, I'm getting the feeling you don't trust me. How could you even think that?"
Patamon: [by the fence] "Guilmon. C'mere, will ya?" [Veemon looks at Guilmon suspiciously.]
Guilmon: "I wonder what Patamon could want."
Veemon: "Ah ha!"
Patamon: "Hurry up!"
Guilmon: "I suppose I should go over."
Veemon: "Double crosser."
[Veemon's words of suspicion make up Guilmon's mind. He goes to talk to Patamon. Soon, the two are immersed.]
Agumon: [as Veemon paces] "Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole."
[Patamon rides off, and Guilmon waves goodbye.]
Guilmon: "You're very welcome, Patamon." [Veemon grabs him, irate.]
Veemon: "So what's with that, what did Patamon want, huh, what?!?"
Guilmon: "Patamon just asked for the time, Veemon."
Veemon: "Oh yeah?" [examining Guilmon's wrists] "Well I don't see a watch, do you see a watch?"
Agumon: "Look what I found, guys!"
Veemon: [not caring about Guilmon anymore] "I'd tell ya I love ya, Agumon, but I ain't that kind of guy!"
Guilmon: "Bravo, Agumon! Bring on the grail!"
[Agumon holds up a dirty, used, useless toothbrush.]
Agumon: "A toothbrush! Finders keepers."
Veemon: "You guys must think I'm stupid or something!" [He smashes Agumon onto Guilmon.] "You're both in cahoots to steal my magazines!"
Guilmon: "And what would we do with your magazines, Veemon?" [Veemon grabs Guilmon's hat.] "My hat!"
[Veemon steals Agumon's eyebrow.]
Agumon: "My eyebrow!"
[Veemon leaves the park running, carrying their most prized possessions.]
Agumon: "But, Veemon, I can't make funny faces without that!"
Guilmon: [covering himself with Agumon] "Wait, Agumon. I'm not decent!"
[Agumon runs up to Veemon. Veemon is dangling the hat and the eyebrow over the sewer where the magazines were thought to be earlier. Guilmon runs up, a bucket over his head.]
Guilmon: [terrified] "Veemon, you wouldn't dare!"
Veemon: "Don't come any closer, or the hat and the eyebrow get a one-way ticket down Sewerville! Now where's my magazines?"
Guilmon: "Veemon, gather whatever strand of logic you may have left! We don't know the whereabouts of your magazines!"
Veemon: "Maybe you have to have another chit-chat with your ringleader, Patamon!"
Guilmon: "Agumon, Veemon's taken the proverbial leap off the deep end!" [Veemon moves the eyebrow and hat nearer the grate.]
Veemon: "Say bye bye, boys."
Guilmon: [running towards Patamon's house] "Oh Patamon! Patamon!" [Agumon follows.]
Agumon: "Oh Guilmon! Guilmon!"
Guilmon: [coming back for a moment] "Please don't do anything rash, Veemon. Thank you."
[Agumon is running in circles in the middle of the cul-de-sac, scared witless.]
Agumon: "Run! Run for your lives!"
Guilmon: "Agumon, this way!" [He runs to Patamon's house and knocks on the door. Agumon joins. When Patamon opens the door, he is battered by their fists.] "Oh dear." [hauling Patamon upright] "Patamon, wake up, please! You need to talk to Veemon!"
Agumon: "Hurry, Patamon! Veemon's proverbial!"
Patamon: "Let go of my shirt." [They comply.]
Guilmon: "Um, Patamon?"
[Patamon slams the door in their faces.]
Patamon: "Like I give. What a couple of losers!" [He laughs until, out his window, he sees them making off with his most prized possession: his bike.]
Agumon: [chased by Patamon, carrying the bike with Guilmon] "Beep beep!" [They come to the sewer.]
Patamon: "Hey, let go of my bike!"
Veemon: "Cough up my magazines."
Patamon: "Get your hands off my bike."
Veemon: "You ain't foolin me! I'm wise to what you and your two lackeys are up to!"
Patamon: "Get over yourself! Gimme my bike!"
Veemon: "I want my magazines!"
Guilmon: "My hat please thank you!"
Agumon: "Eyebrow for Agumon!"
Veemon: "MY MAGAZINES!"
Patamon: "The bike!"
Veemon: "The magazines!"
Guilmon: "Hat, please!"
Agumon: "Eyebrow now!"
Gaomon: "Howdy howdy howdy! Check out what Plank and I found!"
[Gaomon is holding the box from the start of the episode. Veemon's eyes go wide.]
Gaomon: "Talk about luck, huh guys?"
Veemon: "My magazines my magazines!" [He rushes Gaomon and drops the hat and eyebrow. Agumon and Guilmon collect them. Patamon gets his bike back.] "Come to papa my babies!"
Patamon: [riding past] "Pathetic."
Veemon: [tearing the box open] "Oh there you–" [His eyes bulge.] "–aren't?" [The box is empty.]
Gaomon: "Cool box, huh Veemon?"
Veemon: [hysterical] "Where's the magazines?" [He grabs Gaomon.] "What'd you do with them, baldy? Spit it out, where are they!"
Agumon: [adjusting his eyebrow] "I hid them, Veemon!" [Veemon kicks Agumon in the stomach.]
Veemon: "You hid the magazines in a different spot?"
Agumon: "Pretty smart, huh? No thanks are necessary!"
Veemon: [shaking Agumon] "Where, Agumon? Where'd you hide the magazines?"
Gaomon: "I don't get them either, buddy."
[Agumon is once again leading his friends down the sidewalk.]
Agumon: "Well, I was walking down the sidewalk when I saw a bug. Hello, bug! I followed the little dickens to this tree. Then I hit my head on that branch! Nope, sorry, it was this one. Then I gazed at the stars."
The End