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Transcript:

"The Gospel Truth"/Festivities On Mt. Olympus/Hades:

  • (The Spacebots Intro)
  • Narrator: Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is--
  • Thalia: Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some Greek tragedy.
  • Terpsichore: Lighten up, dude.
  • Calliope: We'll take it from here, darling.
  • Narrator: You go, girl.
  • Calliope: We are the Muses, goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes.
  • Terpsichore: Heroes like Hercules.
  • Thalia: Honey, you mean "Hunk-ules." Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him--
  • Calliope: Our story actually begins, long before Hercules, many eons ago.
  • (Muses Singing)
  • Calliope: "Back when the world was new, the planet Earth was down on its luck, and everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok."
  • Thalia: "It was a nasty place. There was a mess wherever you stepped."
  • Calliope: "Where chaos reigned and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept."
  • Thalia: Whoo! Say it, girlfriend!
  • Muses: "And then along came Zeus."
  • Calliope: "He hurled his thunderbolt."
  • Muses: "He zapped."
  • Thalia: "Locked those suckers in a vault."
  • Muses: "They're trapped. And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks, and that's the gospel truth the guy was too type "A" to just relax!"
  • Terpsichore: "And that's the world's first dish."
  • Thalia: Yeah, baby.
  • Terpsichore: "Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth."
  • Muses: Though, honey, it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth. On Mt. Olympus life was neat and smooth as sweet vermouth Though, honey, it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth."
  • (Scene Fades to Mt. Olympus)
  • (Walt Disney Pictures presents)
  • (The Spacebots Meet Hercules)
  • (Gate Opens to Mt. Olympus)
  • (The Gods Murmur to Each Other)
  • Sam Spacebot: Well, guys, here we are in Ancient Greece.
  • Soleil Spacebot: It was a good idea to take the Turbo Spacebots with us, Sam.
  • Sam Spacebot: Blimey, thanks, Soleil.
  • Jack Spacebot: I can't believe we're in Ancient Greece.
  • Tom Spacebot: So, Sam, who are we gonna see?
  • Sam Spacebot: None other than baby Hercules.
  • (Sarah Goes Heart-Eyed): He sounds such a cute baby.
  • Hera: Hercules! (Chuckles) Behave yourself.
  • (Hercules Giggling)
  • Zeus: Oh, look at this. Look how cute he is. (Babbling)
  • (Hercules Giggling)
  • (Hercules Lifts Zeus Up by the Finger)
  • Zeus: Oh, he's strong, like his dad, hmm?
  • Hermes: Whoa! Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through! Excuse me. One side, Ares.
  • Hera: Why, Hermes, they're lovely.
  • Hermes: Yeah, you know, I had Orpheus do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty? Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room, since Narcissus discovered himself.
  • (Hercules Plays with a Thunderbolt)
  • Hera: Dear, keep those away from the baby.
  • Zeus: Oh, he won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun.
  • (Hercules Sucks on a Thunderbolt, Zapping his Hair)
  • (Hercules Throw the Thunderbolt Away for Ares to Hit the Thunderbolt)
  • Zeus: On behalf of my son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts!
  • (Scene Cuts to the Treasures)
  • Hera: What about our gift, dear?
  • Zeus: Well, let's see here. We'll take-- Hmm, yes. A little cirrus, and, hmm, a touch of nimbostratus, and a dash a cumulus.
  • (Hercules Coos)
  • (A Pony's Head Pops Out)
  • Zeus: His name is Pegasus, and he's all yours, son.
  • (Hercules Noggins Pegasus)
  • (Pegasus Licks Hercules)
  • (Hercules Hugs Pegasus)
  • (Gods Sigh)
  • Hera: Mind his head.
  • Zeus: He's so tiny.
  • (Hercules Plays with his Medallion and Yawns)
  • Zeus: My boy. My little Hercules.
  • (Zeus Kisses Hercules)
  • Sam Spacebot (Off-Screen): He's so adorable.
  • Sarah Spacebot: Sorry for barging in. We came by to see the baby.
  • Zeus: Thanks, young lady. Who are you guys?
  • Sam Spacebot: I'm Sam Spacebot, and these are my brothers, Seth and Simon. And this is my friend Jay.
  • Soleil Spacebot: And I'm Soleil Spacebot, and these are my sisters, Sally and Sarah. And this is my friend Patty.
  • Jack Spacebot: And we're the Turbo Spacebots. I'm Jack, and this is Carl, Robbie, Karita, Amy, Lucy, Tom, and Melvina.
  • Zeus: I'm Zeus, and this is my wife Hera.
  • Hera: Hello, Spacebots.
  • Sally Spacebot: Your baby boy is so cute.
  • Zeus: Thanks, Sally. His name is Hercules.
  • Hades (Off-Screen): How sentimental.
  • Melvina Spacebot: Who said that?
  • (Gods Look at Hades)
  • Hades: You know, I haven't been this choked up, since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat. Huh?
  • (Gods Glare at Hades)
  • Sally Spacebot (Off-Screen): Why, it's Hades!
  • Sarah Spacebot: What does he want here?
  • Soleil Spacebot: Shhh!
  • Hades: So is this an audience or a mosaic? Hey, how you doin'? Lookin' good. Nice dress.
  • Zeus: So, Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?
  • Hades: Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do? Ah! There's the little sunspot.
  • (Hercules Looks at Hades)
  • Hades: Little snootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker, eh? Here you go. Ya just--
  • (Hercules Pinches Hades' Finger)
  • (Hades Pulls his Finger Off)
  • (Pegasus Laughs)
  • Hades: Uh, powerful little tyke.
  • Zeus: Come on, Hades. Don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration!
  • Hades: Hey. (Chuckles) Love to, babe, but unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regrettably have a full-time gig, that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to, but can't.
  • Zeus: You ought to slow down. You'll work yourself to death. Ha! Work yourself to death! (Laughing)
  • (Gods and Spacebots Laugh)
  • Zeus: Oh, I kill myself!
  • Hades: If only. If only.

The Fates Reveal the Future to Hades:

  • Calliope: If there's one god you don't want to get steamed up, it's Hades.
  • Terpsichore (Off-Screen): 'Cause he had an evil plan.
  • Melpomene: "He ran the Underworld, but thought the dead were dull and uncouth. He was as mean as he was ruthless, and that's the gospel truth. He had a plan to shake things up, and that's the gospel truth."
  • (Hades Arrives Home)
  • Commander Zurg: Welcome back, Hades.
  • Hades: Thanks, Commander Zurg.
  • Commander Zurg: I heard Hercules arrived to Zeus.
  • Hades: I know. And you wanna to get revenge on your enemies, the Spacebots.
  • Commander Zurg: Yes.
  • Hades: Okay, I'll talk to my minions. Pain!
  • Pain: Coming, your lost lugubriousness. Ow!
  • (Pain Falls on the Fork, Stinging his Butt)
  • Hades: Panic!
  • Panic: Oh, I'm sorry. I can handle it!
  • (Pain is Able to Free Himself from the Fork, Until Panic Runs into Him and Falls)
  • (Panic Falls on Pain's Butt, Stinging Him Again)
  • (Pain Screams)
  • Pain: Pain! (Groans)
  • Panic: And Panic! (Frets)
  • Pain and Panic: Reporting for duty!
  • Hades: Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Fates arrive.
  • Panic: Oh. They're here.
  • Hades: WHAT? THE FATES ARE HERE, AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?
  • (Pain and Panic Whimpering)
  • Pain and Panic: We are worms! Worthless worms!
  • Hades: Memo to me, memo to me. Maim you after my meeting.
  • (Pain and Panic Look at Each Other)
  • Atropos: Darling, hold that mortal's thread of life, good and tight.
  • (Atropos Cuts the Thread, and a Woman is Heard Screaming)
  • Clotho: Incoming!
  • (The Spirit Comes Down as Hades Watches)
  • (Over 5,000,000,001 Served)
  • Hades: Ladies. I am so sorry that I'm--
  • Fates: Late.
  • Lachesis: We knew you would be.
  • Clotho: We know everything.
  • Lachesis: Past.
  • Clotho: Present.
  • Atropos: And Future. Indoor plumbing, it's gonna be big.
  • Hades: Great, great. Anyway, ya see, ladies, I was at this party, and I lost track of--
  • Fates: We know!
  • Hades: Yeah, I know you know. So here's the deal: Zeus, Mr. High And Mighty, Mr. "Hey, You, Get Off Of My Cloud", now he has--
  • Fates: A bouncing baby brat.
  • Clotho: We know!
  • Hades: I KNOW you know. I know. I got it. I got the concept. So let me just ask: Is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover bid, or what? What do you think?
  • Clotho: Um--
  • Lachesis: Oh, no, you don't. We're not supposed to reveal the future. (Sniffles)
  • Hades: Oh, wait. I'm sorry. Time out. Can I-- Can I ask you a question, by the way? Are you-- Did you cut your hair or something? You look fabulous. I mean, you look like a Fate worse than death.
  • (Lachesis Hits Clotho Bopping the Eye Out)
  • (The Eye Lands in Panic's Hands)
  • Panic: Oh, gross!
  • Pain: Yuck! It's blinkin'!
  • (Pain Kicks the Eye to Hades)
  • Hades: Ladies, please. My fate is in your lovely hands.
  • Clotho: Oh--
  • Lachesis: Oh, all right.
  • Clotho: Yeah!
  • (The Eye Looks into the Future)
  • Commander Zurg: Let's listen, boys. The Fates are gonna tell us a story.
  • Clotho: In 18 years precisely, the planets will align ever so nicely.
  • Hades: Ay, verse. Oy.
  • Lachesis (Off-Screen): The time to act will be at hand. Unleash the Titans, your monstrous band.
  • Hades: Mm-hmm. Good, good.
  • Lachesis (Off-Screen): Then the once-proud Zeus will finally fall, and you, Hades, will rule all!
  • Hades: Yes! Hades rules!
  • Atropos: A word of caution to this tale.
  • Hades: Excuse me.
  • Atropos (Off-Screen): Should Hercules fight, you will fail.
  • (The Fates Disappear, Laughing)
  • Hades: WHAT?!? (Growls) Okay, fine, fine. I'm cool. I'm fine.
  • Commander Zurg: That was scary.
  • (Door Opens)
  • Hades: Pain? Panic? Got a riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?
  • Pain: I do not know!
  • Panic: You can't. They're immortal?
  • Hades: Bingo! They're immortal. So, first you got to turn the little sunspot mortal.

Hercules is Kidnapped:

  • (Up on Mt. Olympus, the Sky Gets Dark)
  • (Hercules Snoring)
  • (Pegasus Whistles)
  • (Shadows of Pain and Panic Approach)
  • (Glass Shatters)
  • (Pain and Panic Laughing)
  • Hera: What is it?
  • Zeus: What?
  • Zeus and Hera: The baby!
  • (Zeus Opens the Curtains and Gasps)
  • (Pegasus Pops his Head Out and Gasps)
  • (Hercules was Gone)
  • Hera: Hercules! Oh! (Sobbing)
  • Zeus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  • Panic: Now we did it. Zeus is gonna use us for target practice.
  • Pain: Just hang on to the kid, Panic.
  • (Pain, Panic, Zoidberg, Ziggy, and Toxic Fall Down)
  • (Hercules Bawling)
  • Panic: Hurry. Let's just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?
  • Zoidberg: Do you have the bottle, Pain?
  • Pain: Here you go, kid. A little Grecian formula.
  • (Hercules Drinks the Potion)
  • Panic: Look at that! He's changing. Can we do it now?
  • Pain: No, no, no. He has to drink the whole potion. Every last drop.
  • Amphitryon (Off-Screen): Who's there?
  • (Pain and Panic Scream and Drop the Bottle)
  • (The Bottle Shatters, and Hercules Didn't Drink the Last Drop)
  • (Hercules Bawls)
  • Amphitryon: Alcmene, over here.
  • Alcmene: Oh, you poor thing. Oh, don't cry.
  • Amphitryon: Is anybody there?
  • Panic: Now?
  • Pain: Now.
  • (Pain and Panic Sneak up on Hercules, and Turn into Snakes)
  • Amphitryon (Off-Screen): Oh. Well, he must have been abandoned.
  • Alcmene: Amphitryon, for so many years, we've prayed to the gods to bless us with a child. Perhaps they've answered our prayers.
  • Amphitryon: Perhaps they have. "Hercules"?
  • (Hercules Grabs Pain and Panic by the Throat, and Plays with Them)
  • (Amphitryon and Alcmene Watch)
  • (Hercules Spins Pain and Panic and Throws Them in the Air)
  • (Hercules Giggling)
  • (Pain and Panic Hit the Wall)
  • Panic: Help, help, help! Hades is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened.
  • Pain: You mean, if he finds out.
  • Panic: Of course he's gonna f-- If. If is good.
  • (Meanwhile Back at Hades' Lair)
  • Commander Zurg: Congratulations, boy. You kidnapped Hercules.
  • Zoidberg: Thanks, but Pain and Panic helped us, too. And then, they got beat up by Hercules who still has his god-like strength.
  • Commander Zurg: What? You let him beat those imps?
  • Ziggy: It's not our fault, boss. The Spacebots are planning to make sure he wouldn't die.
  • Commander Zurg: Then I guess we'll just have to finish the Spacebots first. If you guys see Sam, let me know.
  • (Thunderclap)
  • Calliope (Off-Screen): It was tragic. Zeus led all the gods on a frantic search.
  • Terpsichore: But my the time they found the baby, it was too late.
  • Melpomene: "Young Herc was mortal now, but since he did not drink the last drop, he still retained his godlike strength, so thank his lucky star."
  • Calliope (Off-Screen): Tell it, girl.
  • Melpomene: "But Zeus and Hera wept, because their son could never come home. They'd have to watch their precious baby grow up from afar. Though Hades' horrid plan was hatched before Herc cut his first tooth. The boy grew stronger every day and that's the gospel truth."
  • Muses: "The gospel truth."

Jerk-ules:

  • Sam Spacebot: Zeus, I feel bad that Hercules was kidnapped.
  • Tom Spacebot: But don't worry. We'll go down to Earth and make sure he's safe.
  • Zeus: Thank you, Spacebots. I knew I could count on you.
  • Sam Spacebot: Leave everything to us, Zeus. Let's go, Spacebots!
  • (The Spacebots and Turbo Spacebots Jump in their Car and Fly Down to Earth)
  • (Scene Fades to Goats Eating Grass, Until Hercules Passes By as a Young Man)
  • Amphitryon: Hercules! Slow down!
  • (Penelope Braying)
  • Amphitryon: Look out!
  • (Hercules Runs into the Tower)
  • Hercules: Oops. S-Sorry, guys.
  • Man: Hey, watch where you're going!
  • (Hercules Skids to a Stop)
  • Amphitryon: Thanks, son. When old Penelope twisted her ankle back there, I thought we were done for.
  • Hercules: No problem, Pop.
  • Amphitryon: Uh, don't-don't-don't unload just yet. First, I have to finagle with Phidias.
  • Hercules: Okay.
  • (Hercules Drops the Haystack on the Cart)
  • (Penelope Braying)
  • Hercules: Oops. Sorry, Penelope.
  • Amphitryon: Now, Hercules, this time, please just--
  • Hercules: I know. I know.
  • (Hercules Catches Penelope in his Arms)
  • Hercules: Stay by the cart.
  • Amphitryon: That's my boy.
  • (Hercules Sighs)
  • Simon Spacebot (Off-Screen): Yoo-hoo, Hercules!
  • Hercules: Oh, hey, Spacebots. Thanks for coming down to see me.
  • Soleil Spacebot: We just wanted to make sure you weren't in any trouble.
  • Hercules: Why would I?
  • Melvina Spacebot: Because we saw you crash into the wall.
  • Hercules: That was an accident. Besides I'll be better.
  • Demetrius: Whoa. Oh, my goodness. Whoa!
  • Hercules: Careful!
  • Demetrius: Ohh. Why, thank you.
  • Hercules: No problem.
  • Demetrius: Why, Hercules! I-I-It's you!
  • Hercules: Let me-- Let me help you with that.
  • Demetrius: No-no-no-no-no-no. I got it. I'm fine. You just run along.
  • Hercules: Are you sure?
  • Demetrius: Oh, yes. Absolutely.
  • (Hercules Walks Away Until a Frisby Hits his Feet)
  • Man: Yo! Give it here!
  • Hercules: Hey, you need an extra guy?
  • Man: Uh, sorry, Herc. Uh, we already got five, and we want to keep it an even number.
  • Hercules: Hey, wait a second. Five isn't an even--
  • Man: See ya, Herc.
  • Boy: What a geek!
  • Man: Destructo Boy. Maybe we should call him "Jerkules."
  • (Hercules Sits Down on a Well)
  • Soleil Spacebot: Don't feel so bad, Herc. You'll get your chance.
  • Sarah Spacebot: Soleil's right. You just need to control your strength.
  • Hercules: I'll try.
  • Boy (Off-Screen): Heads up!
  • (A Frisby Flies Over Hercules' Head)
  • Hercules: I-I got it!
  • (Hercules Hits a Wall)
  • (The Spacebots Cringe)
  • Seth Spacebot: That one hurt 'im.
  • (Hercules Falls on his Head)
  • Hercules: Uh-oh. Oh-- Oh, no. It's okay.
  • (The Pillars Crash into Each Other)
  • (Hercules Throws the Other Pillar and it Crashes into Each Other, Too)
  • Hercules: Hey! Whoa!
  • Sam Spacebot: Let's get outta here, Spacebots!
  • (The Spacebots and Turbo Spacebots Run Out of Town)
  • (Hercules Runs After the Pillars)
  • (The People Scream)
  • Amphitryon: Son!
  • Hercules: Hang on, Pop! Be right back!
  • Demetrius: Oh, no! Don't! Oh, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
  • (Demetrius Worries Then Finds Out he's Not Crushed)
  • (Demetrius Sighs with Relief)
  • Hercules: Watch out!
  • (Hercules Crashes into Demetrius, Destroying the Pots)
  • (What a Mess, The Town Looked Like a Disaster)
  • (Hercules Looks Around While Amphitryon Comes to Comfort Him)
  • Man: Nice catch, Jerkules.
  • Amphitryon: Son--
  • (Demetrius Struggling)
  • Demetrius: This is the last straw, Amphitryon!
  • (Demetrius Destroys the Pot)
  • Woman: That boy is a menace!
  • Man: He's too dangerous to be around normal people!
  • (People Murmuring)
  • Amphitryon: He didn't mean any harm. He's just a kid. He-He just can't control his strength.
  • Demetrius: I'm warning you. You keep that-that-that freak away from here!
  • Boy (Offscreen): Freak! Yeah, go away!
  • (Hercules Feels Bad)

"Go the Distance":

  • (Scene Fades to Hercules Sitting Alone with Amphitryon)
  • Amphitryon: Son, you shouldn't let those things said back there get to you.
  • Hercules: But Pop, they're right. I-I am a freak. I try to fit in. I really do. (Sighs) I just can't. Sometimes, I feel like, like I really don't belong here, like I'm supposed to be someplace else.
  • Amphitryon: Hercules, son--
  • Hercules: I know it doesn't make any sense.
  • (Amphitryon Worries About Hercules)
  • Simon Spacebot: Should we tell him how he feels?
  • Sam Spacebot: No, Simon. Let's leave him be.
  • (Hercules Walks Up to the River and Picks up a Stone)
  • Hercules: "I have often dreamed of a far off place where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me, where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face, and a voice keeps saying, 'This is where I'm meant to be.' I will find my way. I can go the distance. I'll be there some day, if I can be strong. I know every mile will be worth my while. I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong."
  • (Hercules Comes Home)
  • Amphitryon: Hercules, there's something your mother and I have been meaning to, to tell ya.
  • Hercules: But if you found me, then where did I come from? Why was I left here?
  • Alcmene: This was around your neck when we found you. It's the symbol of the gods.
  • Hercules: This is it! Don't you see? Maybe they have the answers! I'll go to the temple of Zeus and--
  • (Hercules Looks at Amphitryon and Alcmene)
  • Hercules: Ma, Pop, you're the greatest parents anyone could have, but I-I gotta know.
  • Sally Spacebot: We'll take care of Hercules for you.
  • Amphitryon: Thanks, Sally. Your Spacebot friends do a good job.
  • Sam Spacebot: We will, Amphitryon.
  • (Rooster Crows)
  • (Hercules Gets a Goodbye Hug from his Parents)
  • (Hercules Waves Goodbye to Amphitryon and Alcmene)
  • (Amphitryon and Alcmene Wave Goodbye, Too)
  • Hercules: "I am on my way. I can go the distance. I don't care how far. Somehow I'll be strong. I know every mile will be worth my while. I would go most anywhere to find where I belong."
  • (Hercules, the Spacebots, and Turbo Spacebots Walk to the Temple of Zeus)

Hercules Sets Out For the Temple of Zeus:

  • (A Statue of Zeus is Shown)
  • Melvina Spacebot: This must be the place.
  • (Hercules Checks his Medallion)
  • (He Takes Off his Bag and Kneels)
  • Hercules: O mighty Zeus, please, hear me and answer my prayer. I need to know, who am I? Where do I belong?
  • (The Wind Blows, and a Lightning Bolt Hits the Statue)
  • (Fire Rises in the Container)
  • Hercules: Huh?
  • (The Statue of Zeus Comes to Life)
  • Sally Spacebot: Did you see that?
  • Soleil Spacebot: Yes, the statue came to life.
  • (Hercules Looks Up)
  • Zeus: My boy. My little Hercules.
  • (Hercules Screams and Tries to Run Away)
  • (Hercules Crashes)
  • Zeus: Hey, hey, hey. Hold on, kiddo! What's your hurry? After all these years, is this the kind of hello you give your father?
  • Hercules: F-Father?
  • Zeus: Didn't know you had a famous father, did you? Surprise!
  • (Hercules Coughing)
  • Zeus: Look how you've grown. Why, you've got your mother's beautiful eyes, and my strong chin. Ha!
  • Sam Spacebot: Hey, Zeus. Remember us?
  • Zeus: Of course, Sam. I couldn't forget you or your friends.
  • Hercules: I don't understand. If you're my father, that would make me a--
  • Zeus: A god.
  • Hercules: A god. A god!
  • Zeus: Hey, you wanted answers, and by thunder, you're old enough now to know the truth.
  • Hercules: But why did you leave me on Earth? Didn't you want me?
  • Zeus: Of course we did. Your mother and I loved you with all our hearts. Someone stole you from us and turned you mortal, and only gods can live on Mount Olympus.
  • Hercules: And you can't do a thing?
  • Zeus: I can't, Hercules, but you can.
  • Hercules: R-Really? W-What? I'll do anything.
  • Zeus: Hercules, if you can prove yourself a true hero on earth, your godhood will be restored!
  • Hercules: A true hero. Great! Uh, exactly how do you become a true hero?
  • Zeus: First, you must seek out Philoctetes, the trainer of heroes.
  • Hercules: Seek out Philoctetes. Right. I'll-- Whoa!
  • Zeus: Whoa! Hold your horses! Which reminds me. (Whistles)
  • (Something Comes Down)
  • Tom Spacebot (Off-Screen): Who's that coming?
  • Sam Spacebot (Off-Screen): That's Pegasus, Tom.
  • Zeus (Off-Screen): You probably don't remember Pegasus, but you two go way back, son.
  • (Pegasus Noggins Hercules, and Licks his Face)
  • Hercules: Oh, Pegasus!
  • Zeus: He's a magnificent horse with the brain of a bird.
  • (Pegasus Whistles): Hmm?
  • Hercules: I'll find Philoctetes and become a true hero.
  • Sam Spacebot: We'll go with Hercules, Zeus, and help him become a hero.
  • Zeus: That's the spirit!
  • Hercules: I won't let you down, Father! Yee-hah!
  • Zeus: Good luck, son.
  • (Zeus Turns Back into a Statue)
  • Hercules: "I will beat the odds. I can go the distance. I will face the world, fearless, proud and strong. I can please the gods. I can go the distance till I find my hero's welcome, right where I belong!"

The Search for Philoctetes/Call Me Phil:

  • (The Stars Come Up)
  • (Scene Fades to the Hill)
  • (Hercules, Pegasus, and the Spacebots Land on the Ground)
  • (Bleating Sounds)
  • (Goats Bleating)
  • Soleil Spacebot: Are you sure this is the place, Pegasus?
  • Pegasus: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
  • (Women Laughing)
  • (Hercules Looks at Them)
  • (They were Splashing Each Other)
  • (Bleating Sounds)
  • Hercules: What's the matter, little guy? You stuck?
  • Phil: Whoa! Hey, butt out, buddy!
  • Hercules: Ugh!
  • (Women Gasp)
  • Phil: Girls! Stop! Stop! Come back, come back, come back. Whoa, whoa-- Oh. Geez!
  • (A Woman Turns into Flowers)
  • (The Other Woman Turns into a Tree)
  • Phil: Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, nymphs! They can't keep their hands off me.
  • Woman: Hey!
  • (The Woman Slaps Phil's Cheek, and Phil Grumbles)
  • (Hercules Cringes)
  • Tom Spacebot: That's gotta hurt.
  • Phil: What's the matter? You never seen a satyr before?
  • Hercules: Uh, no. Can you help us? We're looking for someone called Philoctetes.
  • Phil: Call me Phil.
  • Hercules: Phil!
  • Phil: Ow!
  • Hercules: Boy, am I glad to meet you! I'm Hercules.
  • Sam Spacebot: I'm Sam Spacebot, and these are my brothers, Seth and Simon. And this is my friend Jay.
  • Soleil Spacebot: And I'm Soleil Spacebot, and these are my sisters, Sally and Sarah. And this is my friend Patty.
  • Jack Spacebot: And we're the Turbo Spacebots. I'm Jack, and this is Carl, Robbie, Karita, Amy, Lucy, Tom, and Melvina.
  • Hercules (Off-Screen): And this is Pegasus.
  • (Pegasus Licks Phil's Face)
  • Phil: Animals. Disgusting.
  • Hercules: I need your help. I want to become a hero, a true hero.
  • (Phil Looks at Hercules)
  • Phil: Sorry, kid, can't help you.
  • Hercules: Wait!
  • (Hercules Opens the Door with Phil Holding on)
  • Hercules: Sorry. Why not?
  • Phil: Two words: I... am... retired.
  • Hercules: Look, I gotta do this. Haven't you ever had a dream, something you wanted so bad you'd do anything?
  • (Phil Sighs): Kid, come inside. I want to show you something.
  • Sam Spacebot: We'll wait out here, Hercules.
  • Hercules: Okay, Sam.
  • (Pegasus Tries to Get in, but is Too Big)

"One Last Hope":

  • (Hercules Bumps his Head)
  • Phil (Off-Screen): Watch it! That was part of the mast of the Argo.
  • Hercules: The Argo?
  • Phil: Yeah. Who do you think taught Jason how to sail? Cleopatra? I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseys, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yeuseus." And every single one of those bums let me down, flatter than a discus. None of 'em could go the distance. And then there was Achilles. Now, there was a guy who had it all, the build, the foot speed. He could jab, he could take a hit, he could keep on comin'. But that furshlugginer heel of his! He barely gets nicked there once and-- kaboom! He's history. [Sighs] Yeah, I had a dream once. I dreamed I was gonna train the greatest hero there ever was. So great, the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars, all across the sky, and people would say, "That's Phil's boy." That's right. Eh, but dreams are for rookies. A guy can only take so much disappointment.
  • Hercules: But I'm different than those other guys, Phil. I can go the distance! Come on. I'll show you.
  • (Hercules Drags Phil Outside)
  • Phil: Geez! You don't give up, do ya?
  • Hercules: Watch this.
  • (Hercules Lifts a Boulder and Throws it)
  • Phil: Holy Hera. You know, maybe if I-- No! Snap out of it! I'm too old to get mixed up in this stuff again.
  • Hercules: But if I don't become a true hero, I'll never be able to rejoin my father, Zeus.
  • Phil: Hold it! Zeus is your father, right?
  • Hercules: Uh-huh.
  • Phil: Zeus. The big guy. He's your daddy. (Laughing) Mr. Lightning Bolts! Read me a book, would ya, Da-da? (Laughing) Zeus! (Imitates Zeus) "Once upon a time--" (Laughing)
  • Hercules: It's the truth!
  • Phil: Please!
  • (Phil Slides Down)
  • Phil: "So, ya wanna be a hero, kid? Well, whoop-dee-doo! I have been around the block before with blockheads just like you. Each and everyone a disappointment, pain, for which there ain't no ointment. So much for excuses, though a kid of Zeus', asking me to jump into the fray. My answer is two words--"
  • (Lightning Hits Phil)
  • Phil: "Okay."
  • Hercules: You mean you'll do it?
  • Phil: You win.
  • Hercules: You won't be sorry, Phil.
  • Phil: Oh gods.
  • Hercules: So when do we start? Can we start now?
  • Phil: Oy vei. "I'd given up hope that someone would come along. A fellow who'd ring the bell for once, not the gong. The kind who wins trophies won't settle for low fees, at least semi-pro fees, but no - I get the greenhorn. I've been out to pasture pal, my ambition gone. Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn. But you need an advisor, a satyr, but wiser, a good merchandiser and whoa! There goes my ulcer! I'm down to one last hope and I hope it's you. Though, kid, you're not exactly a dream come true. I've trained enough turkeys who never came through. You're my one last hope so you'll have to do."
  • (Pegasus Licks the Egg off Phil's Head)
  • Phil: Rule #6: when rescuing a damsel, always handle with care.
  • (Hercules Falls off the Log into the Water)
  • (Phil Groans)
  • (Hercules is in the Water)
  • Phil: Rule #95, kid: Concentrate!
  • (Hercules Throws Some Swords)
  • Phil: Rule #96: Aim! "Demigods have faced the odds and ended up a mockery. Don't believe the stories that you read on all the crockery. To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art, like painting a masterpiece, it's a work of heart. It takes more than sinew comes down to what's in you. You have to continue to grow. Now that's more like it! I'm down to one last shot and my last high note before that blasted Underworld gets my goat. My dreams are on you, kid. Go make 'em come true. Climb that uphill slope. Keep pushing that envelope. You're my one last hope and, kid, it's up to you!" Yeah!
  • (Hercules Drops the Doll on Phil's Head)
  • (Hercules Laughs): Did you see that? Next stop, Olympus.
  • Phil: All right, just take it easy, champ.
  • Hercules: I am ready. I want to get off this island. I want to see battles and monsters. Rescue some damsels. You know, heroic stuff.
  • Phil: Well--
  • Hercules: Oh, come on, Phil.
  • Soleil Spacebot: Yeah, have a heart.
  • Phil: Well, okay. Okay, you want a road test? Saddle up, kid. We're going to Thebes!
  • Hercules: Yahoo!

A Damsel in Distress:

  • Hercules (Off-Screen): So, what's in Thebes?
  • Phil: A lotta problems. A big tough town. Good place to start building a rep.
  • (Woman Screaming)
  • Lucy Spacebot: Did you hear that?
  • Phil: Sounds like the basic D.I.D-- damsel in distress!
  • (Hercules Dives Down with Pegasus, then Looks Through the Bushes)
  • (A Woman Named Megara, or "Meg" for Short, Falls Down)
  • Nessus: Not so fast, sweetheart.
  • Megara (Off-Screen): I swear, Nessus, put me down or I'll--
  • (Megara Kicks Nessus)
  • Nessus: I like 'em firey!
  • Simon Spacebot: I guess that's a Centaur-- half man, half horse.
  • (Hercules Gasps, then Growls)
  • Phil: Now, remember, kid. First analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without thinking.
  • Simon Spacebot: Uh, Phil, Herc's over there.
  • (Phil Turns Around and Looks Stern): He's losing points for this!
  • Megara: You don't know what you're--
  • Hercules: Halt!
  • (Nessus Looks at Hercules)
  • Nessus: Step aside, two legs.
  • Hercules: Pardon me, my good, uh, uh, sir. I'll have to ask you to release that young...
  • Megara: Keep movin', junior.
  • Hercules: ...lady. But you-- Are-Aren't you a damsel in distress?
  • Megara: I'm a damsel, (Grunts) I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.
  • Hercules: Uh-- (Clears Throat) Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be too close to the situation to realize--
  • (Nessus Punches Hercules)
  • (Phil Groans): What're you doing? Get your sword!
  • Hercules: Sword. Right, right. Rule #15: A hero is only as good as his weapon!
  • (Nessus Laughing)
  • (Megara Looks Bored)
  • (Fish Screams)
  • (Nessus Punches Hercules)
  • (Pegasus Looks Shocked)
  • (Phil Groans)
  • Soleil Spacebot: That's it! I'll clobber that guy!
  • Phil: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Hold on! He's gotta do it on his own.
  • Sarah Spacebot: Yeah, calm down, Soleil.
  • Phil (Off-Screen): Come on, kid! Concentrate!
  • (Hercules Spits Water Out of his Mouth)
  • Phil: Use your head!
  • Hercules: Oh.
  • (Hercules Charges at Nessus and Headbutts Him)
  • (Nessus Falls to the Waterfall)
  • Phil: All right! Not bad, kid! Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad.
  • Melvina Spacebot: He even let go of that maiden.
  • (Megara Rises her Head Out of the Water)
  • (Hercules Picks Megara Up and Puts her on a Rock)
  • Hercules: Oh, gee, miss, I'm really sorry. That was dumb.
  • Megara: Yeah.
  • (Nessus Charges at Hercules)
  • Hercules: Excuse me.
  • (Hercules Beats up Nessus)
  • Phil: Nice work! ¡Excelente!
  • Megara: Is Wonderboy here for real?
  • Phil: What are you talking about? Of course he's real! Whoa. And by the way, sweet cheeks, I'm real, too.
  • (Megara Pushes Phil in the Water)
  • (Hercules is Riding on Nessus as a Cowboy)
  • (Phil Spits the Fish Out of his Mouth, Looking Firmly at Megara)
  • (Hercules Flips Nessus to a Log)
  • (Nessus Looks at Hercules Firmly)
  • (Hercules Punches Nessus)
  • (Nessus Flies Up in the Sky as Pegasus Watches)
  • (Nessus Then Comes Down with a Big Splash, and Horseshoes Hit his Head)
  • (Nessus Gets a Big Lump on his Head)
  • (Pegasus Blows on Nessus, Knocking Him Out, and Stepping On his Head)
  • Hercules: How was that, Phil?
  • Phil: Rein it in, rookie. You can get away with mistakes like those in the minor decathlons, but this is the big leagues!
  • Hercules: At least, I beat 'im, didn't I?
  • Phil: Next time, don't let your guard down because of a pair big goo-goo eyes! (Groans) It's like I keep tellin' ya. You gotta stay focused, and you--
  • (Pegasus Points at Hercules, Who Walks Away)
  • (Pegasus Looks at Hercules)
  • (Hercules Walks to Megara)
  • (Pegasus Looks Angry)
  • (And So Does Phil)
  • (And So Do the Spacebots)
  • Hercules: Are you, uh, all right, Miss, uh--?
  • Megara: Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least, they would if I had any friends. So did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?
  • Hercules: Uh, I'm, um, uh-- (Stammering)
  • Megara: Are you always this articulate?
  • Hercules: Hercules. My-- (Clears Throat) My name is Hercules.
  • Megara: Hercules, huh. I think I prefer Wonderboy.
  • (Pegasus Blocks Hercules From Seeing Megara)
  • Hercules: So, uh, how-how-how'd you get mixed up with the, uh--
  • Megara: Pinheas with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think that "no" means "yes" and "get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours." (Chuckles)
  • (Pegasus Shrugs)
  • Megara: Don't worry. Shorty here can explain it to ya later.
  • (Phil Growling)
  • Megara: Well, thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice.
  • Hercules: Wait. Uh, can we give ya a ride?
  • (Pegasus Snorts and Flies to a Tree)
  • (Soleil Groans in Frustration)
  • Megara: I don't think your pinto likes me very much.
  • Hercules: Pegasus? Oh, no, don't be silly! He'd be more than happy to--
  • (An Apple Hits Hercules' Head)
  • Hercules: Ow.
  • (Pegasus Whistling)
  • Megara: I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything. Bye-bye, Wonderboy.
  • Hercules: Bye. She's something. Isn't she, Phil?
  • Phil: Yeah. Oh, yeah, she's really something. A real pain in the patella! Earth to Herc! Yoo-hoo! Come in, Herc! Come in, Herc! We got a job to do, remember? (Whistles) Thebes is still waitin'.
  • Hercules: Yeah. Yeah, I know.
  • (Megara Looks at Them)

Megara:

  • (Megara Walks Off into the Woods)
  • (Megara Spots a Bunny and Gopher, who are Really Pain and Panic)
  • Megara: Aw, how cute. A couple of rodents lookin' for a theme park.
  • Pain: Who are you callin' a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny!
  • Panic: And I'm his gopher!
  • (Pain and Panic Transforms into their Normal Selves)
  • Pain and Panic: Ta-da!
  • Megara: Oh, I thought I smelled a rat.
  • Hades (Off-Screen): Meg?
  • Megara: Speak of the devil.
  • Hades: Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut, Meg. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of river guardian-less.
  • Megara: I gave it my best shot, but he made an offer I had to refuse.
  • Hades: Fine. So, instead of subtracting two years from your sentence, hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay? Give that your best shot.
  • Megara: Look, it wasn't my fault. It was this wonderboy, Hercules.
  • (Hades Looks Stunned)
  • Panic: Hercules. Why does that name ring a bell?
  • Pain: I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money?
  • Commander Zurg: So, did you guys see any sign of the Spacebots?
  • Zoidberg: Not yet, boss.
  • Toxic: As soon as we see them, we'll let you know.
  • Commander Zurg: Excellent.
  • Hades: What was that name again?
  • Megara: Hercules.
  • (Hades Growls)
  • Megara: He comes on with this big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see though that in a Pelponnesian minute.
  • Pain: Wait a minute. Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to--?
  • Pain and Panic: Oh, my gods!
  • Panic: Run for it!
  • Hades: So you took care of him, huh? Dead as a doornail. Weren't those your exact words?
  • Pain: This might be a different Hercules.
  • Panic: Yeah. I mean, Hercules is a very popular name nowadays.
  • Pain: Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were only Brittany?
  • Hades: I'm about to rearrange the cosmos, and the one schlemiel who can louse it up is waltzing around in the woods!
  • (Megara Dodges the Fire Attack)
  • (Hades Breathes Heavily)
  • Ziggy (Louie's Voice): Ooh, he sure sounded mad.
  • Commander Zurg (Francis' Voice): No sweat.
  • Pain: Wait. Wait, big guy. We can still cut on his waltzing.
  • Panic: That's right! And-And-And at least we made him mortal. That's a good thing. Didn't we?
  • Hades: Hmm. Fortunately for the three of you, we still have time to correct this rather egregious oversight. And this time, no foul-ups.

The Big Olive-Thebes:

  • Hercules: Wow! Is that all one town?
  • Phil: One town, a million troubles. The one and only Thebes. The Big Olive itself. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.
  • (The People Walk in Thebes)
  • (The Light Turns Green)
  • Soleil Spacebot: Gosh, this place is so big.
  • Simon Spacebot: Blimey, you're right, Soleil.
  • Phil: Stick with me, kid. This city is a dangerous place.
  • Sam Spacebot: Look out!
  • (A Chariot Drives Past Hercules, Causing Phil to Spin)
  • Man #1: Look where you're goin', numbskull!
  • Phil: Hey! I'm walkin' here!
  • Soleil Spacebot: Gosh, you okay, Phil.
  • Phil: I'm good, Soleil. You see what I mean? I'm telling you-- wackos!
  • Theban: Pita bread. Pita bread. Get your pita bread here.
  • Man #2: Hey, mac. You wanna buy a sundial?
  • Phil: He's not interested, all right? Come on, kid.
  • Man #3: The end is coming! Can't you feel it?
  • Phil: Yes, yes. Thank you for the info. Yes. We'll ponder that for a while. Just stare at the sidewalk. Come on. Don't make eye contact. People here are nuts. That's because they live in a city of turmoil. Trust me, kid. You're gonna be just what the doctor ordered.
  • Heavyset Woman: It was tragic! We lost everything in the fire.
  • Burnt Man: Everything, except old Snowball here.
  • (Snowball Meows Weakly)
  • Tall Theban: Now, were the fires before or after the earthquake?
  • Earthquake Lady: They were after the earthquake. I remember.
  • Heavyset Woman: But before the flood.
  • Elderly Theban: Don't even get me started on the crime rate.
  • Sam Spacebot: This is your chance, Herc.
  • Heavyset Woman (Off-Screen): Thebes has certainly gone downhill in a hurry.
  • Elderly Theban: Tell me about it. It seems like every time I turn around, there's some new monster wreaking havoc and I--
  • Burnt Man: All we need now is a plague of locusts.
  • (A Locust Hots By and Chirps)
  • (Thebans Scream)
  • Elderly Man: That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!
  • Hercules (Off-Screen): Excuse me.
  • (Thebans Turn Around)
  • Hercules: It, uh, (Clears Throat) seems to me that what you folks need is a hero.
  • Tall Theban: Yeah? And who are you?
  • Soleil Spacebot: Go on.
  • Hercules: Um, I'm Hercules, and, uh, I happen to be a hero.
  • (Thebans Laughing)
  • Elderly Theban: Is that so?
  • Heavyset Woman (Off-Screen): Some hero.
  • Elderly Theban: Have you ever saved a town before?
  • Hercules: Uh, no. Uh, not exactly, but I--
  • Tall Theban: Have you ever reversed a natural disaster?
  • Hercules: Well, uh, no.
  • Tall Theban: Oh, listen to this. He's just another chariot chaser. This we need.
  • Earthquake Lady: That's a laugh.
  • Soleil Spacebot: I'll show them!
  • (Sarah Puts her Hand on Soleil's Shoulder and Shakes her Head "No")
  • Phil: Don't you pea brains get it?
  • Earthquake Lady: Hmm?
  • Phil: This kid is the genuine article.
  • Burnt Man: Hey, isn't that the goat-man who trained Achilles?
  • Phil: Watch it, pal.
  • Tall Theban: Yeah, you're right. Hey, nice job on those heels! Ya missed a spot! (Laughing)
  • Phil: I got your heel right here! I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face! You--
  • Hercules: Hey, Phil! Phil! Phil! Take it easy. Phil.
  • Tall Theban: What are you, crazy? Sheesh.
  • Heavyset Woman: Young man, we need a professional hero, not a amateur.
  • (Phil Spits the Cloth Out of his Mouth)
  • Hercules: Well, wait. Stop! (Sighs Dejectedly) How am I supposed to prove myself a hero, if nobody will give me a chance?
  • Phil: You'll get your chance. You just need some kind of catastrophe or disaster.
  • (Megara Fretting): Please. Help! Please! There's been a terrible accident!
  • Hercules: Meg?
  • Phil: Speakin' of disasters.
  • Megara: Wonderboy! Hercules! Thank goodness!
  • Hercules: Wha-What's wrong?
  • Megara: Outside of town, two little boys, and they were playing in the gorge. And there was this terrible rock slide-- a terrible rock slide! They're trapped!
  • Hercules: Kids? Trapped? Phil, this is great!
  • Sam Spacebot: We'll stay here and follow you to the gorge.
  • Hercules: Okay, Spacebots. Meet me there.
  • Megara: You're really choked up about this, aren't ya?
  • Hercules: Come on!
  • Megara: No, I-- You don't under-- I have this terrible fear of heights!
  • (Megara Fretting)
  • (Pegasus Snickering)
  • (Phil Tries to Run to Hercules)
  • Phil: We're right behind you, kid! (Panting) We're way behind you, kid. (Groans) Ooh, I got a fur wedgie.

The Battle with the Hydra:

  • (Hercules and Megara Arrive at the Gorge)
  • (Pegasus Stops on the Rock)
  • Hercules: Are you okay?
  • Megara: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.
  • (Pegasus Hops Megara in Hercules' Arms)
  • Boy #1: Help! I can't breathe!
  • Boy #2: Hurry!
  • Boy #1: Get us out!
  • Boy #2: We're suffocating! Somebody call IX-I-I!
  • Hercules: Easy, fellas. You'll be all right.
  • Boy #1: We can't last much longer!
  • Boy #2: Get us out before we get crushed!
  • (Hercules Lifts a Heavy Boulder)
  • (The Boulder Starts to Move)
  • (The People of Thebes Look)
  • (Hercules Raises the Boulder Over his Head)
  • (Megara was Impressed)
  • (The Boys Run Out of the Gorge)
  • (The People of Thebes Clap Lightly)
  • Hercules: How you boys doin'?
  • Boy #2: We're okay now.
  • Boy #1: Jeepers, mister, you're really strong.
  • Hercules: Well, try to be a little more careful next time, okay, kids?
  • Boy #1: We sure will.
  • (Hercules Throws the Boulder Away)
  • (The Boys are Really Pain and Panic in Disguise as they Run to Hades)
  • Hades: A stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.
  • Panic: "Jeepers, mister"?
  • Pain: I was going for innocence.
  • Hades: And, hey, two thumbs way, way up for our leading lady. What a dish. What a doll.
  • Megara: Get outta there, you big lug, while you still can.
  • Sam Spacebot: Here we are, Hercules. We got here just in time.
  • Hercules: Good to see you, Spacebots. Phil, I did great. They even applauded sort of.
  • (Low Growl)
  • Phil: I hate to burst your bubble, kid, but that ain't applause.
  • (Two Eyes Appear from the Cave)
  • (A Big Claw Then Moves Out to Show a Huge Monster)
  • Hercules: P-P-P-P-Phil, what do you call that thing?
  • Phil: Two words-- am-scray!
  • (A Hydra Appears)
  • Simon Spacebot: I know that monster. It's called the Hydra!
  • Sam Spacebot: Why do they call that monster the Hydra, Simon?
  • Simon Spacebot: Because it has 3 heads.
  • Soleil Spacebot: But this one has only one head.
  • Simon Spacebot: When Hercules battles it, you'll see what I mean.
  • (People of Thebes Look Frightened)
  • Hades: Let's get ready to rumble!
  • (The Hydra Approaches Hercules)
  • (Hercules Battles the Hydra)
  • Phil: That's it, dance around him. Dance around him. Watch the teeth! Watch the teeth! Keep going. Come on. Lead with your left! Lead with your left!
  • (Hercules Dodges)
  • Phil: Your other left.
  • (Hercules Dodges the Hydra's Attack)
  • (The Sword Falls on the Ground)
  • (The Hydra Roars)
  • (Hercules Throws a Rock in the Hydra's Mouth)
  • (The Hydra Crunches the Rock, and Laughs)
  • (Hercules Runs to Get the Sword, but the Hydra Stops Him)
  • (Hercules Holds the Hydra's Teeth, then Throws it Down and Finally Grabs the Sword)
  • (However, the Hydra's Tongue Grabs Hercules)
  • (Hercules Falls in the Hydra's Mouth)
  • (The Hydra Swallows Hercules)
  • (Phil Groans)
  • (The Hydra Belches)
  • (Megara Holds her Neck)
  • Sam Spacebot: I think I'm gonna faint.
  • (Sam Faints in Soleil's Arms)
  • (Woman Screams)
  • (Hydra Roars)
  • (Suddenly, the Hydra Feels a Cut)
  • (Hercules Cuts his Way Out by Chopping Off the Hydra's Head)
  • (The Hydra's Body Falls Down)
  • (The People of Thebes Applaud a Little More)
  • Phil: All right! All right! You're bad! Okay!
  • Hercules: Hey, Phil? That-- That wasn't so hard.
  • (Hercules Collapses on the Floor)
  • Phil: Kid, kid, kid! How many horns do you see?
  • Hercules: Six?
  • Phil: Eh, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up.
  • Sam Spacebot (Off-Screen): I'm glad he's all right.
  • (Pain and Panic Whimpering)
  • Toxic: Darn! What are we gonna do next?
  • Hades: Guys, guys, relax. It's only halftime.
  • Commander Zurg: He's right, boys.
  • (Suddenly a Noise is Heard)
  • Phil: That doesn't sound good.
  • (The Hydra Grows 3 More Heads)
  • Simon Spacebot: Now, this Hydra has 3 heads.
  • Phil: Definitely not good!
  • (Hercules Runs from the Hydra, and Whistles to Pegasus)
  • (Pegasus Comes to Help Hercules)
  • (Hercules Hops Onto Pegasus and Chops Off as Many Heads of the Hydra as He Can)
  • (However, While Hercules was Chopping Them Off, More Heads Keep Growing)
  • (Hercules is Now Face-to-Face with 30 Heads of the Hydra)
  • Phil: Will you forget the head-slicing thing?
  • (Hercules Flies Up Higher, and the Hydra Bumpers Their Heads)
  • (The Hydra Knocks Hercules Off Pegasus, Causing Him to Fall)
  • Hercules: Phil, I don't think we covered this one in basic training! (Yells)
  • (Hercules Jumps From Hydra to Hydra, and Tries to Reach a Cliff, When the Hydra Grabbed Him)
  • Hades: My favorite part of the game--
  • (The Hydra Raises its Heads)
  • (Hercules Gasps)
  • Hades: sudden death.
  • (Hercules, However, Saw a Perfect Opportunity and Pounded the Cliff)
  • (The Cliff Causes an Avalanche, and Buries the Hydra in Rocks)
  • (Hercules was in One of the Hand, and the Hand Collapses)
  • (Pegasus Gasps)
  • (The People of Thebes Gasp)
  • (The Spacebots and Turbo Spacebots Gasp)
  • Phil: Oh, there goes another one. Just like Achilles.
  • (Megara Feels Depressed)
  • Hades: Game, set, match.

"Zero to Hero":

Hades' Plan on the Verge of Disaster:

Progress Report to Zeus:

At the Villa:

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